Valentina Vaughn’s Strange Answers To Sex Questions
Valentina Vaughn’s Strange Answers To Sex Questions
by Lainie Speiser
In the last four or five months I have been spending my free time interviewing porn stars about their sex lives for my next book. Mostly I have been conducting the interviews over the phone, but there have been a handful of porn stars who said they would feel more comfortable answering my questions via email. Penthouse Pet Valentina Vaughn was one of those people, and it gives a rare glimpse into her quirky, sharp and unique mind. I pictured her answering these questions at 5am after a night of working at The Penthouse Club and smirking the whole time she typed. Valentina and I have known each other for years and she respects and loves me and my work, but do I think she takes this industry seriously? Not a damn bit. And it made me love her even more. Creativity and humor are two of the sexiest qualities anyone can have, and when it comes from a gorgeous young woman, it’s twice as hot.
Tell me about your experience shooting for Andrew Blake? Why were you so excited to work with him? What was your first scene like? What was your favorite scene? Shooting with Andrew is like living in a poem that was written by someone with four hands. I was so excited to work with him because on the set I feel like I’m wallpaper that just can’t hang onto the wall, and Andrew is some really good glue. Glue for wallpaper, glue for models, even the glue that little poor kids huff to forget about not having the sneakers they want or whatever. Andrew just sticks it all together. But not like Elmer’s glue because that’s made of horses and horses make me infinitely sad.The first scene we shot was actually cut from the film. It was a dream sequence that took place in an ancient Aztec village. All these indigenous people were around, but instead of spears in their hands they all have cocks. And instead of feathers in their headdresses are little cocks. And these guys painted like eagles are beating on drums with cocks and it sounds like a b-side cut from Iron Butterfly. And they have me tied to a giant cellphone, and the chief is chanting some kind of gibberish and I keep saying “Ignore Caller! Ignore Caller!”
I’m not sure why the scene was cut from the film. It was really funny and I think it was a metaphor for purity. Purity or the Internet, because the internet was really in when we shot that film.
As a dancer you know the art of seduction, tell us how you seduce your customers to spending more time and money with you. Most people think you seduce customer’s by just taking off you clothes. All I have to say about that is long ago most people thought the world was flat. You know?
Before I got into this business I was really into the power of the mind. I wanted to unlock my mind and be able to do things that normal people would think was abnormal. I would stare at this spoon all day and wish it would change. Wishing is what a lot of people do. It’s as
useless as hope. Eventually I realized that if I changed, I could change the way I looked at the spoon and thereby change the spoon. It’s a conceptual ideology that was pretty radical at the time.
I apply the powers of my mind into my seduction. It’s not about time and money; those things are child’s play.
I pick out a customer in the club, relax, and clear my mind completely and focus on them.
I visualize a “tunnel” between myself and them. The only thing that is present in my awareness is the tunnel and the object at the end of the tunnel, which is controlling their thoughts.
I imagine my mind’s hands coming out and pulling the object in. Once I feel the pull, I might want to make sounds in my head that suggest a strong magnetic field (nnnn…. nnn…. nnnn…. )
It hasn’t failed me yet!
What do you do to make yourself feel sexy and in the mood? My sexual appetite is a cyclone, as impervious to fatigue as a Kenyan marathoner. It’s nicknamed “the Monster” in my native country, me and my 300-day sessions in New Guinea are still legendary. I also love to use baseball as sexual innuendo to get me in the mood; I once threw 249 pitches in a 17-inning high school game and routinely topped 130
as a pro. I tossed 72 complete games between 1999 and 2006, 30 more than big-league leader Randy Johnson during the same span. If the typical MLB pitcher’s regimens were one-mile runs, my normal mid-afternoon quickie would be triathlons.
While my rigorous sexual fantasies make me an anomaly in the U.S., they’re actually quite normal in the Galapagos Islands, particularly the Southern peninsula, where exercising the mind to exhaustion is considered a virtue.
What do you like in a man? Close you eyes and picture this…
A short, almost round man with long thin arms. He has a thick black mustache that hangs out of his large, perfectly symmetrical nose. His eyes are large and white, with one slightly closed eye. His ears stick straight out from the sides of his head and are pink unlike his light
brown, tan body. His legs are almost non-existant, so his plump body sits upon his all blue rubber shoes…well that’s Mr. Potato Head and I like a little of his attitude in my men.
If a man has something I don’t like, I’d just like to pull it off and replace it.
What is your favorite sexual position and why? My favorite sexual position is of my own invention. It’s a mix between an Indian Leg Wrestle, with a little Muay Thai and involves 6 rolls of nickels and a twister board. I’m just kidding, I like it in the butt.
What do you do when you really want to get your partner’s attention? Accept the collect call fees.
What are you favorite sexy clothes? Blue clothes make me feel sooooo sexy. brown clothes are terrible. I burned all my brown clothes. They make we want to eat ho-hos and bite my toenails.
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