YOU TARZAN WE’RE PLAYING

by Jon

Ladies I want you to imagine that you’re making love to the man in your life. When do you use the most copulatory vocalizations. In layman’s terms that’s cursing like a fishwife and wailing like a banshee . Is it during the preliminaries or when your partner is doing his manly best?
A new scientific study called Evidence to Suggest that Copulatory Vocalizations in Women Are Not a Reflexive Consequence of Orgasm has shed some interesting light on this phenomena. One brave English researcher armed with nothing but a questionnaire sought out 71 sexually active, heterosexual Lancashire lasses aged between 21 and 52.

Here are the best of the type of questions he asked them:

Frequency of Copulatory Vocalizations
Questions to do with how often participants reported making a variety of noises (i.e., silence, moan/groan, scream/shriek/squeal, words [e.g., partner’s name, “yes”, etc.], instructional commands [e.g., “more”]) during sex, measured on 10 cm visual analogue scales (i.e., “never” on the left hand extreme, “always” at the other).

Intensity of Copulatory Vocalizations

Questions to do with intensity of vocalizations (silence, moan/groan, scream/shriek/squeal, words [e.g., partner’s name, “yes”, etc.] and instructional commands [e.g., “more”]) during various stages of a copulatory bout, answered using a 10-point scale.

Use of Copulatory Vocalizations
Questions to do with how often noises were made during sex even when they knew they were not going to orgasm were recorded (percentage frequency), whether copulatory vocalizations were deliberately used to “speed things up” (i.e., encourage their partner’s climax and thus terminate intercourse), answered as a “yes” or “no”.”
The answers showed a strange anomaly.
These women had their orgasms by themselves or by their partners working on their clits. They had relatively fewer orgasms by vaginal penetration. Why though did they make the most noise only when their male partner was about to cum inside them ?

Here’s what our intrepid boffin had to say:
With regard to the reasons females gave for making copulatory vocalization, 66% reported using these to speed up their partner’s ejaculation. This was done to relieve discomfort/ pain, boredom, and fatigue in equal proportion, as well as because of time limitations. Importantly, 92% of participants felt very strongly that these vocalizations boosted their partner’s self-esteem and 87% reported using them for this purpose…. Further advantages of the female being able to manipulate the presence/absence/timing of the male orgasm may include the reduction of her risk of incurring physical damage from roughness, abrasion, and ensuing infection.
A light went on in his head as he was reviewing these findings. Eureka! Women behaved like the subjects in the recent study of female Barbary macaques. That’s monkeys in case you’re not up on sexuality in non-human primates. Did they ask the macaques the same questions?

Both women and female macaques do this for probably the same reasons:
One of the effects of female copulatory vocalizations may be to promote male self-esteem, which may strengthen the pairbond, decreases the risk of emotional infidelity and abandonment, resulting in continued access to resources and protection.
Or how to get a man that eats, shoots and stays. But I’m sure you ladies already knew this.

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