A Porn Star Trying to Fit in with Civilian Life.

By Lucky Starr

I love what I do, I truly do.  But as everyone knows, the industry has its ups and downs.  Sometimes you’re shooting like mad, and other times it’s a bad dry spell, at least it’s like that for me.  I entered the adult industry after getting laid off from my survival job.  I needed money, and I wanted to fulfill a longtime fantasy that I never thought I’d have the guts to do, yet here I am. I enjoy the adult industry, but sometimes the work isn’t steady enough to keep my bills paid.  So I tried my hand at getting a civilian job again.  I dusted off my resume’, and hit the pavement.
I was “lucky” to get a job at an exclusive members only club in West Hollywood.  It was a brand new place that was still under construction.  I put my heart and soul into the training process.  Finally we opened our doors.  The clientele was the biggest Hollywood had to offer.  I couldn’t believe some of the people I was face to face with.  I worked hard, got up very early in the mornings to be at work, and I put every effort I could into this place.  But the whole time, I was living this “secret life” that none of my other co-workers knew about.  Whenever I wasn’t at this job, I was still going on porn auditions and go-see’s and still trying to burn the candle at both ends.  They all knew I had a boyfriend in porn, but they never suspected about me because I don’t generally fit the desciption of a porn girl.  One day after work, I had drinks with a co-worker.  I was a bit tipsy when we decided to share a secret about each other.  She told me hers, I told her my porn secret and we pinky swore we’d never tell a soul.
So my job went on as usual.  I have to admit, I was pretty fucking miserable at this job.  It seemed like someone was always breathing down my neck telling me everything I was doing was wrong.  It was a pleathora of micro-managing idiots who have to pick on people to make up for their own sad lame lives.  I was in tears at least once a week, BUT for once I had a regular paycheck coming in, and I was doing shoots on my days off.  I seemed to be working all the time, and for once since I moved to LA, I was on top of my bills.
Then everything came crashing down.  I started to feel strange looks at work.  People that used to come up and hug me whenever they saw me, suddenly couldn’t look me in the eye.  And other people were being super nice to me. Random barbacks who I didn’t think knew my name would come up to me and say, “Hey, beautiful!”  The girlfriend I had confided in came up to me one day and said, “Everyone knows about you.”  She was even able to tell me the websites where they saw me.  I was suddenly being cut left and right from evening shifts, and the first to be sent home if we were slow.  June 1, a manager comes up to me and says,” Can I steal you for a sec?”.  We walk to the elevators down to the main offices.  I knew what was going on. Their reason?  That I “just didn’t fit in with what they wanted”.  I clearly asked them if they have any knowledge of my “other job”.  Naturally, they said no.  No, I cleared my locker, and off I went to my boyfriend’s place in tears.
I know everything happens for a reason.  I wasn’t telling the clientele about my porn life, nor was I soliciting anything.  It’s two months later, and I’m still scratching my head wondering what went wrong.  There is so much discrimination against people of the porn industry.  Civilians think we’re perverts, sex addicts, or they think we’re some kind of superhero.  I try my best to lead a completely normal life outside of porn.  Once somebody finds out that you’re in porn, they will NEVER look at you the same way again!  If I ever started dating again, men would either think they’ve won the jackpot, or they’d run the other way screaming.
I guess the moral to this story is as porn industry performers, we’re all part of this “secret society” of people, much like superheroes.  In the civilian world, we have to maintain our anonimity.  But when the Batphone starts blinking, that’s when we turn into the porn stars that we are.  So the true moral of the story is “keep your frickin’ mouth shut!” Otherwise the consequences could be disastrous.

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