So who picks up the pieces this time?

Fifteen years ago when my husband left me for a younger single Mom, I was devastated. We had been married for just over 9 years had been together for 12 years. We owned a house 3 cats and 2 dogs, no children we were too busy at least I thought enjoying being young and married and had plenty of time for that. I mean I was only 28. I had a best friend Judy she was single, and even though she was a great listener she did not understand what it meant to give yourself up to someone when you marry them, then when they leave you its like you lose half yourself. So I started chatting on the Internet with different people, newly single people who understood what I was going through. Most of them had children and I could see that it was a bit harder for them. Until a few months had gone by and I met Daren in a chat room, not sure how the conversation started but it was very polite (some guys were not) he and I chatted for hours, he was recently going through a separation after months of sleeping on the couch and no sex. He had a 2 year old son and he was feeling really down about not being with his son every night. We chatted effortlessly everyday for hours at a time, and we were on different coasts. I was on the west coast, him on the east. He would end up staying up much later that me because of the time difference, but I would wake very early the next day so we could chat quickly before work. This went on for weeks until we finally exchanged work phone numbers, back then I worked for a very large company that had an country wide toll free number that you could reach me directly. So I gave Daren that number so that he could call me during the day. I remember being so nervous the day he was to call the 1st time. It had been 12 years since a new guy was going to call me.

We met in a chat room in January, the 1st time we met in person was April 19. He flew to California on a Friday. Since then that has been our “official” anniversary date of our meeting. This was not like two strangers meeting it was so much like two friends that just realized they always belonged together. We spent that weekend together and at the end knew we really wanted to be with each other. Three weeks later I flew to New York City, he drove down from New England we spent another weekend together this was around my Birthday and he gave me a beautiful pair of Emerald earrings. I had never received any jewelery except my wedding ring prior to that.

In all this time I was still hurting over my soon to be ex husband, he was fighting with me about everything, the house, bills, our pets. I had to drop out of school because he stopped paying for my tuition. Even though when we were 1st married I was the only one who worked while he finished school. I was living in the house we shared and staying with Judy on the days that he was not working. We communicated primarily by leaving nasty notes around the house. Even though I had Daren, my ex had been in my life for 12 years and I was very sad about losing that. My ex and I went to court in June we split everything and basically that was the last time we physically lied eyes on each other. We have had a few correspondence over the years mostly over money that was awarded to me.

Daren came to visit in July I had just finished moving out of my house, he had just lost his Mother from Cancer. We both needed each other, it was at this meeting that Daren asked if I would think about moving to the East coast to be with him. I was right now living with another friend Jane and her boyfriend, her Mother and two teenage kids. I had a small room with a single bed and my two oldest cats, the only pets I was able to keep. I told Daren that I had to think about it, moving across country meant essentially giving up all my friends and family. He said he understood and promised that he would always love and take care of me the way my ex never did.

That was 1996, I am writing this in January of 2011. Daren and I have been married for just under 9 years. We have a beautiful house we built almost 8 years ago. We have an 11 year old daughter and a 8 year old son. 2 Cats and a dog. We have been together full time since September of 1996.

On January 31, I found out Daren has been having an affair, with a single mother much younger then me. When I asked him why? He can’t answer that, if I ask him if it was something I had done, he says no. But yet I find out it has been going on for several months, he has even had her in our house, in our bed. But he can’t tell me why.

So after 15 years, after all those hours of chatting on line and on the phone, and him being there to pick up the pieces of my broken heart that my ex left. My question is now, who picks up the pieces of my children hearts? How do I explain to them that I can’t stay with a man that did the one thing to me that I can’t deal with? The one thing that I can’t forgive, that will forever hunt me.

I hope to keep writing as things unfold, good or bad…….

Thanks for reading, I will try and answer any comments left.

I have written for LadiezNight in the past however right now I wish to keep my identity to myself. Maybe later when things have settled down I will let you the readers know who I am, but for now I feel more comfortable staying anonymous.

Part 2 & 3 of this story are now up, just search “Pieces” on the site

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