Archive for the ‘Life Experience’ Category

Mariah Milano Visits UNEXSO Shark Lab in Bimini, Bahamas I just returned last night from 9 days in Bimini which is a very small island in the Bahamas. It’s actually the closest Bahamian island to Florida being only 53 miles from Miami and one of the most beautiful places on earth. The water is a blue I have never seen other than maybe Polynesia but I would say it’s every bit as clear and blue as Bora Bora or Fiji.  But it was the people and the energy and of course, the UNEXSO Shark Lab that made my trip worthwhile. I went over to shoot my 2012 calendar and spend some time relaxing and getting some sun away from everything. Cell phones don’t work and wifi is scarce to say it nicely so it ended up being a great break from the "real world". I flew over in a twin prop charter from Ft Lauderdale and after sixteen minutes in flight we began our descent into Bimini. The water was so amazing from the plane and I didn’t realize just how tiny the island is. Bimini is made up of 3 different islands with an estimated population of around 1,600. The biggest being North Bimini that is a total of 7 miles long and 700 feet wide and is the most populated part of Bimini with restaurants and shops and hotels along the on main street,  Kings Road.  Everyone uses golf carts and there are very few cars which is nice and it took me a few days to get used to driving on the left side of the road again! A little but of Bimini’s history: Bimini was home to Ernest Hemingway for 2 years in the 1930′s where he wrote and fished on his boat and supposedly a 500 pound Blue Marlin he caught was the inspiration to his famous book "The Old Man and the Sea" as well as "Islands in the Stream".  After Hemingway, Dr Martin Luther King spent time in Bimini in 1964 writing his Nobel Prize acceptance speech. The Fountain of Youth: I had read online about the myth of the fountain of youth being in Bimini but once I got there and spent time speaking to the locals it took on a much larger tale. I actually visited the "Healing Hole" as it’s named that fills with fresh water during outgoing tides and took a drink as well as soaked in it for a bit. I can say that I felt amazing when I got out and I don’t have the usual back pain I have been so used to for a while. Coincidence? Maybe, maybe not!   Atlantis: **Bimini is believed to be the beginning of the fabled undersea world of Atlantis. On September 2, 1968, while diving in three fathoms (5.5 meters) of water off the northwest coast of North Bimini island, J. Manson Valentine encountered an extensive "pavement" of what later was found to be noticeably rounded stones of varying size and thickness. This stone pavement was found to form a northeast-southwest linear feature, which is most commonly known as either the "Bimini Road" or "Bimini Wall".  I went snorkeling along the Bimini Road and it’s one of the most popular tours on the island. After Valentine, the Bimini Road has been visited and examined by geologists, a vocational archaeologists, professional archaeologists, anthropologists, marine engineers, innumerable divers, and many other people. In addition to the Bimini Road, investigators have found two additional "pavement-like" linear features that lie parallel to and shoreward of the Bimini Wall. The stones have been carbon dated and are reported to be more than 3,500 years old! But aside from all of this factual stuff the greatest experience I had while there was my day at the UNEXSO shark lab. UNEXSO stands for "Underwater Explorers Society" and is one of the world’s most prominent research facilities for sharks, which was started by Dr. Samuel Gruber. The lab is located on South Bimini Island and when you see it you think, "this is THE shark lab?" as it’s basically a very small building with a few rooms including a communal dining area and a bunk room as well as a meeting room complete with schedules and tons of information (see photo), but the main research is done in the bay behind the lab in the water where they have their subjects in open water pens. Most of their research is on Lemon sharks as they breed and mate and are abundant in the waters of Bimini. They study juveniles tagging them so they can be monitored for the rest of their lives. Bimini is also home to Tiger Sharks, Reef sharks, the fierce bull shark as well as a variety of other sharks. I went on a snorkeling trip that took us to the SS Sapona wreck as well as Honeymoon Harbor to feed sting rays and then to a rock formation called Triangle Rocks where reef sharks are commonly seen. I have been terrified my entire life of sharks but after a day at the shark lab I found myself the following morning in 30 feet of water swimming with 7 coral reef sharks and the smallest being about 6 feet long and 180 pounds! I saw a black tip shark in Turks n Caicos last month but I was a good 20 feet away. Here I was literally almost close enough to reach out and touch them, in the wild on their turf and they were every bit as cautious and uninterested in having me for lunch as I was assured they would be. They were curious and even followed us back to the boat but never once did I feel uneasy or threatened but I will admit to having a severely increased heart rate at first!   I was taken out to the bay where they have the pens with the juvenile Lemon sharks that they catch and rotate out every 3 weeks after collecting DNA and adding the tracking device very similar to the one implanted in dogs. I got to touch and hold a baby Lemon shark and I have to say I am in love. They are so amazing and when you realize how fine-tuned they are you really get sick to think of the people that do nothing but destroy these amazing creatures. I want to note that the UNEXSO lab is the place that first discovered catatonic immobility in sharks. I don’t want to continue to bore you with my jabbering enthusiasm more than I already have but Google "sharks tonic immobility" or look it up on YouTube. It’s amazing and I know because I was fortunate enough to witness it in person. The effect of touch on a predator as fierce as a shark was amazing and one of the great experiences of my life. Do yourself a favor and visit Bimini and request to take a tour at the UNEXSO Shark Lab. Generally they require you to have a referral but I think they are trying very hard to get the information out to save the sharks that they are willing to educate anyone interested. Be prepared for the expense of Bimini though! A case of Corona is $90 and a golf cart rental is around $100 per day and is a necessity while there. You can charter a flight for around $1400 each way or you can check with some of the airlines who will only fly over if they have enough passengers to make the trip.   xoxoxo, Mariah Milano "Always a traveler, NEVER a tourist!" **Some factual information from Wikipedia

One of our writers was on Playboy Radio today with the lovely jessica drake. Our writer is getting quite famous for her series, “Picking Up The Pieces”, an honest portrayal of what is happening to her after she caught her husband cheating on her and she struggles with what to do next. She has been writing under simply “author” here. But now, because of the radio show she has revealed her true identity. So you may know her as Mistress Desire. You can read her heartbreaking missive below. If you want to read the whole thing start with part one. You won’t be able to stop until you finish reading part 8! And there will be more to come soon…

Desire welcomes & answers your comments here. Or you can contact her on twitter @MistressDesire.

PART 1  http://www.ladieznight.com/3804  True Story of a Break Up

PART 2  http://www.ladieznight.com/3814 Seven Weeks Later

PART 3  http://www.ladieznight.com/4000   A Wife’s Journey After Her Husband’s Affair

PART 4  http://www.ladieznight.com/4037  To Live As Roommates?

PART 5  http://www.ladieznight.com/4129  Things Went South

PART 6  http://www.ladieznight.com/4211    Moving On

PART 7   http://www.ladieznight.com/4243  The Revenge Factor

Part 8    http://www.ladieznight.com/4298      Why I Won’t Wear my Wedding Ring

Picking up the pieces #8 – Why I wont wear my wedding or engagement ring.

This is the story of how we got engaged and then married.

We had been living together for just over a year, there was talk of marriage and children. In fact we had made plans to quit smoking, so that we could work on the children part. I was not real big on the idea of getting married again, the whole 1st marriage had left a really bad taste in my mouth, but he was. We were headed out to dinner, our favorite Sushi bar for what seemed like a normal night out. As we were just about to leave our apartment he stopped me  and said I have something to give to you. I was not sure what he was talking about so I said oh yea what? From behind his back he handed me a little black box I didn’t know what to say, he said “open it” I did and what was inside one the most beautiful diamond solitaire with emeralds surrounding the diamond. I was stunned, I did not know this was coming, he had picked the ring out all by himself. I asked what is this for? and he said I want to marry you. It felt so good, to feel that he went shopping all by himself and taking a chance by picking out this ring and that even though I had said I was not ready he wanted to show me he was and wanted to prove his love. Even though I knew at that moment I was not ready to get married, but loved the idea of saying we were engaged and that maybe sometime in the near future I would be ready to marry again and I knew it would be with him, so I said yes.

That next June we found out that I was pregnant with our first child, we discussed getting married at that time and decided that we would still wait. She was born in April 1999, she was the most beautiful and we were both so happy. I was working full time from our apartment, that way I could take care of our baby all myself and save money on day care. In August of 2001 I was not feeling very well and my cycle was about a week late. My Mom was visiting at this time and her and I had just had the “marriage” chat she was not pressuring me she just wanted to know if we had any plans to get married or have any other children. I told her that at this time we had no plans for either. On a Tuesday I remember calling him from work (I was working 2 days a week out of the house, and 3 days in) and telling him that my period was now over a week late and I was kinda not feeling well. I worked in a medical building, the same as my OB/GYN and the lab, so I called and asked if I could go and get a blood test. That was 10am by 2pm my OB/GYN was calling me to tell me I was definitely pregnant. I was surprised but not at the same time. I called my fiance and told him the news and then asked him “wanna get married this weekend”? He was taken aback a little but responded quickly “YES”.  I spent the rest of the day finding out what we needed to do to get married in our state, the next day we met at the city offices and got a marriage license. At the time we had to wait 72 hours from the time you pull the license until you can get married. I called a Justice of the Peace and asked if she was available on Sunday to marry us, she was. That night while eating dinner I told my Mom that we had something to do on Sunday and we both needed new dresses, she was a little confused and asked what we were doing. I told her we had a wedding to attend, she asked who’s wedding, we both smiled and said ours and by the way we are having another baby in April. She was thrilled, my Mother has always been my greatest supporter with everything I have ever done.

We had a cute little ceremony in The JP’s apartment, my 2 1/2 year old daughter was there, his 7 year old son and my Mom were the only people in attendance. A few weeks later we went to a jewelery store and picked out wedding rings they were very similar to each others and since then only until I found out about his affair the only time I took off my rings, was when they needed to be cleaned or I was working out. The night I found out about the affair I took off my rings and I have a memory of tossing them out the window, but I found them a month or so later in the car so I guess I didn’t throw them out but really wanted to.
I have put them away, where I would never see them on a day to day basis and where he would not know where they are. I can’t wear them, I don’t feel what I felt the day he gave me the engagement ring or the day we got married. I never thought I would be able to say to someone that I am giving you my heart and my life will be devoted to us and our children, that feeling is gone and the rings do not mean what they once did. I loved this man more then even he believes, we had an incredible marriage which included being each others best friend and the best sex life that most men would envy.

Now all that is gone, what we have now is a sexual relationship & we get along for the most part. When I am not having a complete break down, but we are not the same couple that we were. I have given myself and him until the end of January for my mind to change and be in love with him again at that time I have a decision to make, a decision that not only effects me but our children. So far I feel no trust or love and as each day that goes by when I don’t wake up with those feelings, I come to believe that maybe those things are gone and can not be brought back. Too many people tell me it takes time, I just am not sure how long is enough or too much time to take.
Thanks to all who have sent messages of encouragement and your insights. Please leave a commit I will reply as soon as I can.

Author of Pieces

The other intense & interesting parts of this ongoing dilemma can be found here-

PART 1  http://www.ladieznight.com/3804
PART 2  http://www.ladieznight.com/3814
PART 3  http://www.ladieznight.com/4000
PART 4  http://www.ladieznight.com/4037
PART 5  http://www.ladieznight.com/4129
PART 6  http://www.ladieznight.com/4211  

PART 7   http://www.ladieznight.com/4243

FROM  THE  TRENCHES
BY:  Dave Cummings, Former Altar Boy (Now a Porn Star!)
SEP, 2011
It seems like quite a few production entities in the Adult Film Industry are on, or getting closer, to the brink of being financially unable to survive much longer in this age of (criminal-like?!) piracy, and other significant choke-point challenges; sure, some larger and financially well-healed companies and those with rich “investors” are still churning out new porn releases, but for how long?

Under the present circumstances, I’m unable to financially continue as an active producer / director, hence those descriptions are no longer in my above “By line”; and, per my past personal policy, I absolutely will not accept investor money and have to later face the possible wrath of an upset “money person” investor.  I’ll continue, however, to perform in select sex scenes for other companies, and I’ll manage/monetize/sell some of my present 1,500+ Internet domains, and I’ll be active and involved with my personal websites and my www.DaveCummingsInfo.com where folks can call and chat directly with me live.

And, yes, I’ll still be a continuing condom customer in my private life, especially for use in swinging situations and with groupie girls. I think we performers have a strict responsibility to make certain that we protect other performers and ourselves by using condoms 100% of the time off-set; and, I hope that performers with significant others are not being cheated on, especially as it concerns the need for rubbers. Yes, I’m totally comfortable with the DNA HIV/STD testing that we porn performers routinely get every month, but it could be worrisome if some performers are not 100% sober and 100% condom when playing off-camera with non-tested folks.

We’re back to NFL football season, which means swinger get-togethers to watch the San Diego Charger games at a couple’s house which has been hosting these events for a few years now. Interestingly, whereas most guys usually are quickly “ready” to engage with the swinger ladies, while the games are starting they seem more patient but then switch their sexual attention to the women if the Chargers aren’t doing well or the many advertisements become too annoying. I chuckle when the word “touchdown” is sometimes screamed out from one of the nearby bedrooms; and, there’s something impolite about looking over the head of the female giving you head, just so you can clearly see the TV and the football play that’s happening. During halftime and after the game is over, it’s a flurry of sex fun with the women seducing each other, and any guys who can still get it up again. I always drive hope with a big smile on my face, yes, even if the Chargers don’t do well!

Enjoy life, take time for family and self, be safe, and understand that it’s perfectly OK to enjoy sex with oneself and/or with other consenting adults; and, please be extra nice to others, just for the sake of it. I think that karma happens, and that there’s both good and bad karma.

Dave Cummings
www.DaveCummings.com
www.DaveCummings.tv
www.DaveCummingsvod.com
www.DaveCummingsInfo.com

Here are the links to the whole story…

PART 1 http://www.ladieznight.com/3804
PART 2 http://www.ladieznight.com/3814
PART 3 http://www.ladieznight.com/4000
PART 4 http://www.ladieznight.com/4037
PART 5 http://www.ladieznight.com/4129
PART 5 http://www.ladieznight.com/4211

 

Picking up the pieces part 7 – The Revenge Factor
I have been writing a lot about my day to day struggle with coming to grips with my Husband’s affair, and even though I come off as a pitiful, whiny little girl. At least that is how it would sound to me if I was reading this about someone else; however I hope that in someway I possibly could be helping someone else who is going through a similar situation.

So in this chapter I want to tell you about something that I did that I hope will make me look a little stronger (hopefully not pathetic or desperate). Back in late March I was going through an obsession about finding everything about the women my Husband had the affair with. I also wanted to make sure that not only was my Husband done with her that she would for sure be done with him.
I have been in contact with this person’s boyfriend since she sent the Face book message to my friend exposing the affair. The day after I found out I contacted him to let him know of the affair. Well being the great manipulator she is, she was able to convince him that both my Husband and I were lying. That she knew about him having an affair with someone else and her reason for getting the word to me was some sort of ridicules “sisterhood” favor she was doing for me. Needless to say her boy friend decided that without “proof” he had to believe her, even when my Husband was able to give specific details of her parent’s bedroom where they had sex for the first time.
One night I logged onto my Husband messenger account and sent a text message to her phone. It was very late at night and basically said to her that “I missed talking to her” and gave her what I had said was his “new” cell phone number, when in fact it was my cell phone number. The next morning my cell phone rang and I noticed it was her number, I knew her number due to the 100′s of text messages between her and him, that I found after the fact. I was never the type to “check up” on him, never had a reason too. I let the call go to voicemail which I had changed to the automatic computer voice; she did not leave a message. I waited a couple hours and then sent her a text asking if that was her that called? She took no time to text back, at first she did not believe that is was him I of course was easily able to convince her I believe because she really wanted it to be him. I told her that things had been terrible since he had broken it off with her and that he choose the wrong women to be with. I asked her to give “us” another chance, that as soon as I am completely free that I wanted to be with her.

Now you may be thinking how were you able to do this, well we text back and forth for the next few hours until she had to go to her job. She was still not convinced that is was him, I told her that I would do something that would convince her once and for all. That night I told my Husband what I was doing, he did not like any of it but he was not going to stop me, nor could he have. Then I told him that I needed his help, I needed him to use my phone to call her voicemail and leave a message so that she would really believe that it was him that she was texting. He called her number, I knew she was at work and did not get off until 11:00pm and could not answer the phone. He left a very simple “Hi it’s me and I hope this helps you believe its me” By 11:15 my phone was ringing, it was her number I did not answer it, and then she left a text and all it said was “Thank you”. The next morning I sent her a text asking if she now believes that it was him. She believed it, but was not sure she could trust him. Since he had hurt her so bad; so again I spent the day texting her and basically “courting” her. When it came time for her to go to her job, I then asked her to call my cell phone and leave me a message that would make me smile. I told her I was going into a meeting and really needed a message that would get me through the rough nights. I also told her that we would make plans to meet up very soon.

Within minutes my phone was ringing with her number, I let it go to voicemail and in another minutes I got the voicemail notice. The message she left, I will paraphrase she said that she was still angry with him for breaking up with her and making her feel like she was just a piece of ass. Then she said; but she never loved anyone like she loved him and would wait even if it takes months just to be with him. There was more but nothing more incriminating. So my next move was to text her boyfriend and ask if he was free after work, that I had something for him to hear. We met and I presented him with the voicemail and all the texts from the last couple days. I know its mean but he needed to know who he was with and that she was a liar and a manipulator. He was visibly hurt when he heard the part about my Husband being the love of her life; again this is something he needed to hear. He asked if somehow I could forward the voicemail to him. I was able to do this, plus forward him the texts she had sent. When i got home I told my husband of the meeting and let him hear the voicemail, he asked if I was done with this and I said that it all depends on what her boyfriend does with the information.
The next day I waited as long as I could before texting her, and the response that I got was great. She knew it was me and became very verbally abusive, no worries I can take it. She accused me of ruining her life, now anyone reading this should find that very funny. Especially if you have read what I have been going through all these months. I let her know just how stupid she was for falling for my trap and that she was just a desperate nothing that tried to latch on to a man that she thought could take care of her in a way that every man she has ever been with couldn’t. We exchanged a few more texts, none of which were friendly and then I blocked her from ever calling or texting any of our cell phones. I sent a text to her boyfriend to make sure he was o.k. he did not get back to me right away. On my way home from work he called me, to apologize for what his girlfriend has put me through. I told him that he had no reason to apologize for her. I blame my Husband for the affair; however she was part to blame since she knew all along that he was married and she kind of knew me. I wished him luck, and he did the same. I have had no contact with either of them since.

That was my revenge, maybe it was not much. But I did what I felt was better then using physical violence and risking getting in legal trouble.

** To let you know what is going on with my marriage, last couple weeks have been up and down. We had a blow up but we got though it and have come to an agreement that we will not discuss divorce for 6 months. Our 10 year wedding anniversary is Aug 19th we are going away for 4 days just the two of us. I do not know where we are going, he has planned everything. I will update after our weekend.

Thank you again for taking time to read about my life, I will answer any responses good or bad. Also any questions you might have for me.

Author of Pieces

PART 1 http://www.ladieznight.com/3804
PART 2 http://www.ladieznight.com/3814
PART 3 http://www.ladieznight.com/4000
PART 4 http://www.ladieznight.com/4037
PART 5 http://www.ladieznight.com/4129

Picking up the pieces part 6……Moving on? Moving on, means many different things. It can mean getting past the hurt and betrayal, learning how to forgive and make my marriage work. It can also mean time to leave my marriage and move on with the next chapter of my life, being a single Mom.

A few weeks ago my Husband said something to me that has kept me thinking. He said that he thought maybe I was incapable of forgiveness, that maybe it is just not my personality. I think he might be right, normally when someone does me wrong I am done with them, out of my life I don’t need friends like that. But when its your Husband and the Father of your children, how do you just walk away and not look back. Well I can tell you that since finding out about his affair I have come closer to leaving then trying to forgive. So is he right? Am I not capable of forgiveness? So far 5 months have past since I found out, and I am no where near forgiveness. He thinks I may be incapable of forgiving him, but what I don’t see is his capability to make up for what he has done to me and how he has made me feel.

How I see us right now is mediocre at best, are we capable of getting along? Yes. Is it what it was? No. Will we ever have what we had before? I doubt it. So here is a theory, if he had an affair because there was something missing in his emotional needs and I feel now that we don’t have an emotional connection, at what point will this happen again? When will he justify to himself and someone else that “oh well she doesn’t love me anyway” and the next female that makes him feel gushy inside he does it again. The way I see it, its bound to happen again even if he has said there is no way he would put us through this kind of turmoil again, but then again he had once said he could never do anything to hurt me.

Today is July 1st 150 days have passed and I am still in the same place I was on January 31. We go a couple days where we are semi o.k. never great but o.k. and then it all starts over again. I can wake up after a bad night sleep and be honest about my feelings, and he immediately goes into robot mode. We were planning a night out tonight, I woke this morning not in the best of moods and when he asked I told him that I dreamt a lot last night and that the images were not good. He said nothing, didn’t offer any comfort even if he had said I am sorry do you need a hug? If I had said no thank you, at least I would have known he cared and tried. So on the way to work he sends me a text that asks if I still wanted to go out tonight. I couldn’t believe it; we had made the plans for 2 days talked about them just the night before and here he is asking if I still wanted to go. If I am off base here please feel free to chime in. This made me feel that he did not want to waste time and money if I was not in a good mood. When actually he could have said sorry you had such a bad night, let’s try and make tonight a good one. When I called him on this it became, “oh I thought you were just too tired to go out”. I don’t know what to think anymore. After a bad night that was supposed to be good, we/I calmed down a little and were able to “talk” some.

Today is July 7; we have been doing o.k. and decided that we need to see the counselor more often then we have. So tonight we are seeing her and maybe I might start going on my own once a week. We rescheduled our date night to tomorrow. Then we have a planned 4 day weekend to take the kids to a couple places that they wanted to go to this summer. My new question since starting this chapter is “How long will I feel this way?” and when will he get tired of waiting for me. At our counseling session she asked if I felt I could not get my feelings back for him what I was going to do, she asked if I was going to stay for the kids. My kids are so important to me and they did nothing to deserve any of this, I said I was willing to stay as long as needed to raise our kids. Even if this means I live in a one sided marriage, meaning I may not be in love with my husband but he says he loves me. The counselor asked if he was willing to live like this, his answer was no. He said that he would not be willing to continue as we are, and what I heard was for not too much longer. This caused me to do some thinking, and if he can not take my out bursts and feelings of depression that make my anger come out. That at anytime he was going to give up and this made me shut down emotionally. The next session the counselor asked how we were doing, he said he thought things were better. I said that I had decided that I can’t express myself anymore for fear that he will just give up on us.

Today is July 26th; I know that my husband made a huge mistake and is very remorseful and he does love me. However to forgive him in my eyes is letting him off the hook for breaking my heart. I still can’t tell him I love him, because I am not “in” love with him, I have not put my wedding ring back on and he removed his a few weeks back that hurt because I don’t think he had a reason to do that, unless he had given up on us. I miss the feeling of being in love, but unfortunately it’s just not coming back. Next month August 19 is our 10 year wedding anniversary, 2 years ago we talked about this up coming date and how it meant so much to us to make it to this mile stone. His first marriage ended at 6 years and my 1st marriage ended just after my 9th anniversary. So for us to make it to 10 years married was going to be a great celebration. We talked about trips, parties and possibly re-new our vows. Well as you can guess none of that will be happening and when I think about what could have been I get very sad.

Instead we are going away for 4 days that week; he says he has made all the arraignments. I only know what state we will be in not the city or where we are staying. We do still enjoy each others company, but is it a love affair or just two people moving through the day.

Our sex life has been great; however that was never an issue with us. We have always enjoyed a healthy and very full sex life together. But I have already noticed that some of the things that he said a few months ago have already stopped. He said he wanted to make sure that he brought home fresh flowers every week that lasted for less then a month. He wrote me 1 heart felt e-mail and said he planned on doing it more, that has not happened. He wrote a long hand written letter and also said he had more to write and would soon. That never happened; it’s not like I really expected any of these things to happen forever but to say he is going to do these things and then just stop, makes me feel again like the effort is only temporary.

The next month will be a challenge, even as I write this the same song keeps running through my head. It’s by my favorite band of all time, U2 the song is “Stuck in a moment you can’t get out of” the chorus is what I hear;

You’ve got to get yourself together

You’ve got stuck in a moment

And now you can’t get out of it

Don’t say that later will be better

Now you’re stuck in a moment

And you can’t get out of it.

Thanks for taking the time to read about my life, sorry that this one is long but I wrote it over several weeks and when you are going through daily ups and downs finding the time to sit and write becomes very tough to do. I appreciate all comments positive and even negative. I will respond to any comments. Author of pieces.

JEN DOE INTERVIEW 2  Read Jen’s first interview here

by Jon of http://elexismonroe.thumblogger.com/

1 You were due to shoot with Magdalen earlier this year and then something 
happened. Can you tell us about it ? Actually, Fate was a real bitch in March when she dealt two blows which postponed our shoot until June. First, I was playing in a tennis match, and during a heated rally I ran out wide for a ball, lost my balance and fell hard… I tried to brake my fall by putting out my hand, but landed on part of my racquet, resulting in a fractured tip of the radius of my right wrist – and I’m right handed! Oh yeah – I was so screwed! I have fallen a few times like that before but never broke anything, and just my luck it would happen right before the shoot. Needless to say, I got it caste (in “GFF pink” of course, lol!) and though the cast should have gone up almost to my armpit, I asked the doc if I could just have it to the elbow. Since it wasn’t a bad break (just the tip was cracked), he agreed, as long as I kept it in my sling and didn’t use it – at all!

The second blow came on what would have been the day before our shoot on March 17th, when Magdalene learned of her father’s passing. She hadn’t seen him in over 7 years, so the news hit her extremely hard. She put on her brave face, dealt with a bunch of paperwork and red tape, and traveled to England to be with her family, and to attend the funeral and special medal ceremony honoring her father, who was a decorated soldier in the British Royal Marines.

No one plans for these things, they just happen. And it really sucks. A little time has passed now, and we are both still recovering, and are thrilled to have finally filmed our love scene.

2 That must have been terrible. How did you manage to pass the months 
that followed? Dealing with the cast and its limitations was brutal at first… I mean, all of a sudden there were many things we take for granted, that I couldn’t do – or do very well… I was forbidden to drive until an X-ray showed the bone being healed enough to drive on a need-to-only basis… My personal hygiene was a total pain – showering wasn’t too bad, but since I couldn’t brush my hair while blow-drying it, nor could I put it into a ponytail, I went around more often than not with a rat’s nest on my head. And putting makeup on with my left hand was a joke too, so most of the time I went without and that was scary – but not as scary as looking like some freakish clown-whore, lol! Ironing clothes, getting dressed and undressed, hell even going to the bathroom required a huge effort… But the biggest pain of all, was wanting Veuve Clicquot, and not being able to open the bottle… That SUCKED!! I had to get my neighbors to open it for me, and they always seemed to be gone when I wanted some… Go figure! Oh, and let’s not forget about cooking… It was awkward doing that too, and also led to dirty dishes that I couldn’t wash. So, the delivery guys and gals of Pizza Hut and Panda Garden became my new best friends… For a while I just sat around, eating take out and feeling sorry for myself. That last one resulted in about a 15 pound weight gain, which I left on for filming, mainly because I thought it would validate the fact that I am ONLY a fan and NOT a performer wanna-be like some forum members believed. On a lighter note, I hired my housekeeper to come over once a week during that time – and she really spoiled my ass… I just love her!

3 What has been the fans from Girlfriends Films reaction to your setback? Well both Magdalene and Dan were totally understanding about what happened, and very relieved when I told them I was still on for doing it as soon as my wrist was ready… When I relayed this news to the forum, I had tons of support and well wishes from the true fans. But there were a few in this particular “clique” who took the opportunity to be total dicks - one of whom ended up getting banned for his personal attacks and down right hateful behavior. Oh well, I say fuck ‘em! I won’t let a few bad apples ruin the whole bunch, as the rest of the forum ROCKS!
4 You were just a couple of weeks from the scene when the CalOsha 
meeting took place. You must have been worried that you wouldn’t be able 
to do it without barriers. What do you think about their proposals 
especially relating to dental dams?
Oh yeah… That was pretty weird timing for that to happen, for sure! I have no doubt I wouldn’t have done the movie if I had to use a dental dam. I mean what’s the point? If I’m going to put my ass out there for the whole world to see, I sure as hell won’t do it if I can’t even put my mouth on the woman I’m doing it with! Seriously, CalOSHA, wtf?! Diseases can be transferred via saliva and kissing too, right? So what is CalOSHA going to do about that? Ban kissing altogether – from mainstream movies as well as porn? NOT! Just who the hell are these people anyway? The California Order of Self-righteous Holier-than-thou Assholes? Jeez!

5 You’ve been on a GFF set before but this was the first time you were 
there to have sex.How did it go? Well, I was actually very nervous at first – but not because I was going to be having sex on camera, but because I was with Magdalene, and this really is as much her film as it is mine. I didn’t want to lessen her magnificence or let her down in any way, shape or form… And because I don’t ad lib well, I put unnecessary pressure on myself not to have too many takes with the dialogue… But once the sex started, all of the nerves were gone, and honestly, I forgot anyone else was in the room with me other than Magdalene. It was really awesome! I can still feel her mouth on mine… Mmmmmmmm!

6 What differences did you most notice about sex on and off camera? Well, off camera, I don’t have any “worries”, meaning I have total confidence in myself and in my abilities to please a woman – even when that woman is Magdalene… However, on camera - I worried that if I positioned myself in a certain way, my ass would look even more ginormous… I worried that I would forget to move her hair if it fell in her face while she was going down on me… And I remember thinking things like “How long have I been doing this?”, and “Maybe it’s time to switch and do something else”… I know, it is silly stuff, but it all just ran through my mind on a continuous loop… And I think the biggest worry of all was “What if I can’t orgasm on camera?” I mean, I don’t fake them in real life at all… I have no problem saying that I’m too buzzed or too tired, or I’ll just make my partner cum first so she’ll be tired and won’t care, lol! Anyway, during our scene, as the biggest orgasm I think I’ve ever had was building up inside me, that worry disappeared without a trace, taking the rest of the worries with it…

7 Would you know like to do more or are you sticking to this being a one 
off ?
Nope… It’s definitely a one-time thing for me… I’d love to continue to write stories/scripts for future films or series, but other than that, I’m perfectly happy with the career I’ve got

8 How did your week with Magdalene go? It was AMAZING! Of course she has her own life, which I didn’t expect her to give up just because I was there, though we did get to spend a lot of time together… Hours and hours on set, going out for lunches and dinners (mostly dinners because we didn’t get up until late afternoon, lol!), and enjoying our favorite Veuve Clicquot while having long chats about pretty much everything… We even went out for an hour long helicopter ride over LA and the coastline, had dinner at this great Italian restaurant in Beverly Hills she knew about, went out dancing at this really fun gay bar called “The Abbey”, and then went back to the hotel and, um…. you know ;-) That week was the best week ever! I would just like to add that besides having the incredible honor of being intimate with her, it’s an even bigger honor to be her friend. I’m truly a better person because I have her in my life… Magdalene St. Michaels ROCKS my world!

The Other Girls of Penthouse
By Lainie Speiser

October ’09 Penthouse Centerfold Anju McIntyre calls me Lainers and I allow it. I have told her, if I didn’t love her so much I would never, ever let anyone call me Lainers, when one or two people in the Penthouse offices have referred to me as “The Lainster” I tell them immediately to stop, and not in the nicest of ways. But I let Anju call me Lainers, because she’s wonderful and hilarious and gorgeous, and she always does the job and then some. So she can call me anything she wants.

There are women in the pages of Penthouse who don’t get their due as much as they should, but in the last two years I’ve been putting an end to that. These are the gorgeous women who made it in the magazine but did not make Pet. Not because they are lesser in beauty or in talent or personality, it’s usually because these women are say, under contract to another company, live in another country or in many cases like in Anju’s have their own career going on and simply do not have the time to devote to Penthouse. Anju, you may remember, was a contestant on reality series “My Antonio” and several B horror movies. She has also been on many Cinemax shows including the one based on Penthouse Magazine, “Life on Top.” Anju, I originally knew as fetish porn star AJ Kahn, but she’s put that part of her life behind her and is making the most of her other assets like her amazing gift for gab, most recently co-hosting a web radio show with Chaunce Hayden. I hired Anju for the CES Show this year, she was one of the few ladies I hired that was not a Pet, but let me tell you, she gave those girls a run for her money with her spunky, hilarious talk and playing Rock, Papers, Scissors with otherwise weary attendees. She thinks of things on her own, I love that, she knows, being a centerfold and a sex object, it doesn’t mean you can’t be creative and use the brain god gave you.

So no these women aren’t “The Other Women,” not at all, think of it like this: In the great, lush kingdom of Penthouse these ladies are your harem, so just think of the “Non-Pets” so to speak at the secondary hot wives. Another of these gorgeous gals is March 2010 feature Jade Vixen. I met Jade when I used to throw monthly pro-domme parties for Penthouse Variations called Cat ‘O Nine. And literally the week after I met her Jade was all over the tabloids, one of her former subs became fatally obsessed with her and shot and killed her boyfriend, then took her on a terrifying ride before shooting himself. Wow. You’d think this would put an end to her career but Jade is one of the most resilient people I have ever met. She stopped doing domme work and turned up the heat on her fetish modeling, which is how she came to be in Penthouse. Not only does she have an unbelievable body with the tiniest waist you’ve ever seen, but she has held her own on what most consider very intimidating radio shows like Opie and Anthony and Howard Stern. On the Howard Stern Show she was participated in The Strongest Naked Woman Contest (along with Anju) and won.

Then there is Darenzia, another nude fetish model. Darenzia I knew when I was a freelancer at Penthouse and she worked for the web department. She walked around in platform combat boots, a huge, blue mohawk and tiny plaid skirts. I only worked in Penthouse back then three days a week, but I knew right away she was special and couldn’t help but notice that even the most stuffy and conservative of man wanted to jump her bones big time. This was during the last days of the Guccione era and when there were layoffs gone was Darenzia, but it was the best thing that could have happened, she became one of the hottest models in the biz. It’s funny to see sexy girl-girl photos of someone you used to wait for elevators with, but the more she works with me, the more I have forgotten about that young punk chick and concentrate on the raven haired pin up vixen that you see today. Quite the stunner, and so much fun to be around, not to mention a good sport and allowed Sirius XM radio personality Jose Magnin worship her feet while doing at interview on The Covino and Rich Show.

There are also ladies who are new to the business and not quite ready yet for Penthouse Pet stardom. When I got the advance June issue I was struck by this exotic cutie called Lena D and was tickled to find out she was straight out of Brooklyn. I got her number from Penthouse art director and we met soon after. Lena D doesn’t even have a Twitter or Facebook yet, I’m hoping to change that. She’s only 21 and she works with animals and children. I wasn’t sure if this was indeed for her, but then when I put her on The Luis Jimenez Show she knocked it out of the ball park and totally understood my stage mother backstage sign language right away. When the gals and I go on radio, what you don’t see/hear my background coaching them on little things they may have forgotten in their nerves like the on-sale date of the magazine or the name of the store we are appearing in. I also sign when I think it’s time to get naked by tugging or lifting my shirt. Lena D totally got it and I loved that, being in the dug-out and watching a rookie playing well first time at bat. It’s a good feeling. I was a bit disappointed to find out that this Puerto Rican hottie didn’t understand any Spanish, but I blame the parents of today for that. My Mom never spoke to me in English.

But probably the Penthouse feature I’ve been seen running around with the most these days is red-hot Adam and Eve contract girl Alexis Ford. Good lord that Alexis Ford does a publicist proud. She appeared in the May ’11 Issue of Penthouse in what could be the sexiest, hottest photo shoot we have had in the magazine this year. She’s got the face of a doll and the body of a sexy superhero and boy does she know how to work it, in every way. Alexis Ford is what I love in a centerfold/porn star, ambition, smarts, sexuality, beauty and a dirty, naughty little mouth. I love it when she has said on air that as she is speaking semen is oozing out of her ass. Who says that? I love it. We also have a hot tee shirt of her you can find in www.penthousestore.com that depicts her exhaling some sort of smoke and it says, “I Get High.” Alexis is a very versatile person too, I can have her on The Jason Ellis Show talking all kinds of filth, but I can also have her do an interview for the sports section of The Daily News talking baseball. And when I was promoting my book, Confessions of the Hundred Hottest Porn Stars last week at monthly Parkside Lounge event, Sex, Dope and Cheap Thrills, she not only agreed to read her interview out loud but she took the time to tell the audience how out of all the people she has met in the business I am the one person whom she feels she can count on and has worked the hardest for her. And then we hugged. It was kind of gay, but I was pretty touched.

This Monday on the 27th Alexis Ford, Darenzia and Digital Playground contract girl Stoya (whom it looks like will be shooting for us very soon) will be on Howard Stern doing this years, “The Strongest Naked Woman” contest in honor of the release of my new book, as they were three of the 100 interviews in there. I can’t wait to see what Howard Stern brings out in them, not to mention how much fun it is to see naked women do push-ups and pull-ups. Think I’m gushing shameless propaganda? Au contraire, but you will have to listen and watch and judge for yourself.

PART 1  http://www.ladieznight.com/3804
PART 2 http://www.ladieznight.com/3814/
PART 3 http://www.ladieznight.com/4000

PART 4 http://www.ladieznight.com/4037

Picking up the pieces part 5
I started this new chapter and then things just kind of went south, so this is being written over several weeks period..Bear with my manic writing I will have something to say.
What am I doing here?
I ask myself this question at least a half a dozen times a day. One part of my brain and heart wants to just put all of what happened with my husband’s affair behind me, to forgive and move on. However the rest of my head and heart really wants to walk away and never look back. But how can I do that? We have 2 children together (12 & 9), 15 years of building a life, family and home together. I want to believe him when he says he made a mistake and will forever regret that mistake, but that does not make the hurt I feel go away. I have not told him I loved him since finding out about the affair that was over 4 months ago. I have not even tried on my wedding rings. I can’t express myself in my writing just what my feelings are. Let me tell you what he did for Memorial weekend. Two weeks before he asked if I could take the Friday before that weekend off that way it became a 4 day weekend. Our kids had school that Friday so that meant we had that day to ourselves. The day before he asked me to go and buy a new sun dress, at our first meeting I picked him up at the airport wearing a sun dress. I also picked up a matching thong just to add to the outfit
We dropped the kids off at school and then went to breakfast at a local family restaurant, after we went home showered and got ready to go. As I was finishing getting ready he presented me with a small package wrapped in gold foil. He said that it was something to wear with my new dress. In the package was a beautiful pair of emerald earrings, the first gift he ever gave me 15 years ago was a pair of emerald earrings for my birthday. This pair was a lot different from the first and a lot prettier. I had only a small hint of what was going on this day. We drove to a beach that I had never been to before, it was a warm day but extremely foggy but that kind of added to the romance. Packed in the trunk was a cute new picnic basket that included cheese and crackers, grapes, apple slices, chocolate covered strawberries (that he made) and two bottles of our favorite red wine. We sat on the beach sipping wine and snacking on the goodies. We walked down to the water and laughed at the fact that the water was so cold that it made our feet hurt, but it was still really fun and playful. I can’t remember exactly how long we spent sitting on the beach, but of course the time went by fast. We then drove to a second location; he had made an appointment for me at a Day Spa to have a one hour massage. We then had to head back home, where he gave me a beautiful bouquet of yellow with red tips roses. We spent some alone time together before having to head out and pick up our kids. He made a great dinner for all of us that night. We capped off the night by sitting in our hot tub. The rest of the weekend was just as great, spent Saturday with the kids and then that night we sat in our hot tub and watched a very funny movie, while enjoying a large bottle of champagne.
This is where my confusion comes in. By Tuesday afternoon I felt myself slipping back into my “dark” place. I have tried to figure out what triggered it, but I really can’t find a cause. I was honest with my Husband and told him that I was feeling down, but not really bad. By Wednesday night we were sitting in the hot tub and I was kind of quiet and he asked “What’s going through your mind” I told him that I had very conflicted emotions, and that it just makes me feel depressed when we have such a great weekend together but yet I can’t keep from thinking about his betrayal. I talked for about an hour while he just listened. I could feel that my talking about how I was feeling was making me feel worse and worse; however I didn’t want to stop. It felt like the right thing to tell him what was going on my mind. After about an hour he wanted to get out of the hot tub, he suggested that we sit on the porch and I didn’t want to because it was windy and chilly. When he did not suggest going inside and continuing the conversation I of course took this as he was done and did not want to hear from me anymore. This sent me into a tail spin and the next couple days were not fun. It got so bad that he was at the point to suggest that if he made the move to end our marriage would this make it easier on me. Honestly nothing about this situation is easy. We made an appointment for the coming Saturday to see our marriage counselor and she helped calm things down for me and us.
This week has been calm, but of course that means we really are not talking about anything. We are just moving through each day as best as we can. Then it started again, there are just so many strange things that have gone on over the past few months. Finding stuff in my Husbands car (a baggie of marijuana, we don’t smoke) that was stuffed under the passenger seat. Magazines that he did not sign up for coming to the house, text messages to me from unknown people, that wont answer when I text back, but yet he knows nothing about any of it and when I suggest that any of these things could be linked to his “girlfriend” he insists that there is no way, she wouldn’t have done any of those things. So instead of saying to me “wow that would be fucked up” and even considering the possibility he dismisses me and defends her. Then when he see’s me withdrawing again we go 3 nights together, where he could have started a conversation. I get “what’s up”, “you ok” not “hey do we need to talk?” By day 4 he is texting me while at work, and saying “I take it you not having a good week”
So lets go back to my original question “What am I doing here”? Am I staying for the right or wrong reasons, is money or me being afraid? I am 44 years old, still in good shape and have been told by many that I am attractive. However starting over is not want I wanted at this point in my life, I know that people do it all the time but why should I? I moved to the East coast almost 15 years ago to start over with my Husband, we went through some rough financial times in the beginning but that was we were both paying for a our 1st divorces and he had to get used to paying child support to his 1st wife. We got through it together because we were a team, a couple that wanted all the same things. somewhere in 2009 we lost all of that and I have yet to understand where it all went. I still want all the things that we planned for, but I don’t know if I want them with him.
Today is Fathers day, I have had a really bad week but tried my hardest to make it a good day, I am pretty sure that it was just for my kids sake so that they still don’t get a hint of what is going on between us. As soon as they go to bed I am sure the question “What’s going on in your head” will come and I don’t have the answer.
Maybe by the time you hear from me again I will…

Thanks again for reading, comment and I will answer as soon as I can
Author of pieces

From http://newswire.xbiz.com/

LOS ANGELES — Nacho Vidal makes his living performing all over the world with women of every ethnicity. And after 17 years of having sex on camera he has concluded that American girls are special.

“I love American girls,” Vidal said. “For me American performers are the best in the world. I try South American, I try European, and for me American girls are the fucking best. Every time I finish the scene I go home so happy like I did something great. When I work in other places, sometimes I go back home [feeling] like empty.”

The popular Spanish star said he just seems to have good chemistry with the U.S. ladies.

“They like me a lot, I don’t know. I think they just like my accent,” Vidal said humbly. “They really give me so much. I really enjoy it and I feel they enjoy it.”

Vidal returned to Los Angeles in May for the first time in nearly a decade, signing with L.A. Direct Models for representation. The longtime Evil Angel director/performer plans to shoot new movies as well as perform for other companies. At press time the 37-year-old stud was already booked solid for the next eight weeks and counting.

“I just feel good. I’ve been working out, I’m healthy. I’m taking care of my body,” he said. “I wanna get laid. I wanna get pussy.”

Vidal said there were numerous reasons he hasn’t set up shop on U.S. soil since 2002. He married a Colombian woman and became a father. He opened a restaurant/club called Flipper & Chiller in Ibiza, Spain, a horse breeding ranch called Yeguado Vistabella in Valencia, and a film studio bearing his name in Madrid. He has also been regularly shooting porn in places such as Brazil, Colombia, Thailand and his native country.

Now in the midst of a divorce that he calls “a painful process,” Vidal said the time was right to return to L.A., where he plans to stay for at least two to three years — maybe more.

“I have a contract with Evil Angel for the next two years,” he said. “I always want to come back to my house, my dogs, my horses, my family. But here for me right now it’s fun. I want to make money every day.”

Vidal intends to produce and direct one movie per month for Evil Angel. He says he usually takes five days to shoot a movie, so the other 25 days of the month he is free to perform.

“My next movie is going to be ‘Made in the USA,’” Vidal said. “I already have series called ‘Made in Brazil,’ ‘Made in Xspana’ and [‘Colombian Teens’]. I’ll start shooting ‘Made in the USA’ as fast as I get a free day. I may have to say ‘no’ to some jobs.”

The demand for Vidal’s services is clear. Since late last week he has worked for Digital Playground, Pierre Woodman and LiveGonzo.com, which is owned by Raul Cristian who has booked Vidal every Saturday from now through July. This week he’s scheduled to perform three more times for Digital Playground.

“The energy I have right now is not the energy I had when I was here 10 years ago — it’s double energy now,” Vidal said. “I’ve been waiting for my working visa for 10 years and finally this is like a dream come true for me to come back. I don’t want to fuck it up.”

He continued, “Every scene that I do I try to make it the best scene of the year.”

Vidal called Kristina Rose “unbelievable” after fucking her for the first time on Saturday for LiveGonzo.com.

“I loved that girl,” he said. “Great personality, great body, amazing. The way she fucks is so real. It’s that kind of girl I like to work with.”

Vidal told XBIZ he has parlayed his successful porn career into other assets through careful investments. “I use my money smartly,” he said.

In addition to his non-adult businesses, he owns houses in Colombia, Barcelona, Madrid and Valencia.

“Now I’m going to have one here,” he said. “I’ve been working for 17 years, I’ve been working a lot. I always try to put my money into something.”

Vidal bought the exotic restaurant/club Flipper & Chiller six years ago; and he has owned his studio rental property since 2003, but only began building it out last year.

“The day I pay off everything, with the money from my restaurant I think I’m going to retire with my horses,” Vidal said. “That’s the life I want to have someday.”