Archive for the ‘Q&A/Advice columns’ Category
What a Porn Girl Learned from a Wing Girl
by Lainie Speiser
Come February 25 I will have worked behind the scenes in the adult industry as a publicist for 21 years so I think it’s safe to say I know a lot about what men want. I have also written six books, mainly books for couples counseling them on how to spice up their sex lives or how to give your man a killer blow job. I like to think I know what really lurks in the hearts of all men, no matter what they outwardly say to everybody else. It’s my job to get their attention, turn them on and make them stay interested in the product that I am selling, that product being sex and sensuality.
But dating and relationships, that’s different. I myself don’t like to date and neither do many of the women who work in front of the camera in my industry. We give so much of ourselves on a day to day basis, when it comes to our own personal time we tend to skip the little steps and go straight to the relationship. Sure we do some initial dating rituals like going out to dinner, the conversations, the flirting and so forth. But basically we are women who think we know what we want right away and once we see that we go straight to the shack-up. Sometimes the result can be disastrous the guy turns out to be some kind of phony or scoundrel, but a lot of times we ourselves wake up in bed, turn over, look at our snoring partner and just think, “God what was I thinking of I gotta get out of this pronto.” And we do just that.
So when I started working with Wing Woman Marni Kinrys who is a dating coach to men literally all over the world on a writing project I was intrigued and admittedly challenged. Writing about the whole Boy-Meets-Girl thing isn’t the same as writing about how to explore your submissive side in a role play fantasy. This is about making the first initial connection with someone on more than a sexual level. This is good old-fashioned romance and even a porn peddler wants to know if it’s possible to get the person you really want and find dare I say it? True love! This is for people who are not in the adult industry, The Civilians, as we sometimes call the rest of you. But just because we sell lust for a living it doesn’t mean that we don’t want the same things that you do. A special someone who understands you, knows what you’re thinking of and thinks of you after you’ve had a hard day and calls you to see if you’re doing alright. Sex is very important to me, but these things, they’re pretty damn good too.
It’s not that me and my colleagues in the adult industry don’t believe in romance. On the contrary we are suckers for it. We sell fantasy for a living and we dream big. But we are what I learned from Marni’s Wing Girl materials we are “Pouncers.” We meet someone we like and right away we pounce, not just in the bedroom, but get ourselves intertwined with someone we don’t know all that well because we’ve worked it out in our own mushy minds what this relationship is going to be without asking ourselves if this is the right person, and the person we really want. Usually when we find this out we’re in deep and it can get a little sticky to get the heck out. There’s usually some pain and a lot of drama and in the end we’re so embarrassed we don’t want to even think about how we got into it in the first place. The combination of horny and lonely can be a very intoxicating cocktail and when you wake up from your black out, well you can feel mighty rough.
Although I’m currently single I definitely meet a lot of people and go out on a fair share of the dreaded dates. Dating men who are in the mainstream entertainment industry is always good because they aren’t so threatened by my books, my porn star clients and wacky lifestyle. But this can have its hazards too, you end up dating lots of egomaniacs who talk about themselves non-stop and almost try to compete with you on the accomplishments. So bizarrely you become rivals of sorts and that’s not good. When I date people who have regular jobs they tend to be a little too enthralled and somewhat intimidated and don’t talk about themselves much at all because they think they’re boring, they are bored with their lives themselves and say so. That’s sort of a turn-off as I’ve never thought my job made me interesting, but my off-beat way of thinking did. Or they think because I must meet a lot of scummy men that they have to be extra “nice” which I like most women interpret as a man who is a total pussy. Those are the guys that get stuck in “The Friend Zone” which Marni covers a lot in her coaching. And I learned that all women, not just women who work in porn, want a man who takes charge by planning the dates, taking initiative and making us feel pretty and feminine.
Working on a project with Marni called “What the F do Women Want” became a weird and at times uncomfortable “This is Your Dating Life” journey for me. I was reading about men who talk too much about their pasts, men who are charming but can’t go past the jokey banter thing to real substance, men who are scared to touch and men who are creepy touchy/feely way too fast. I read about men who don’t understand that texting a new lady at 11pm on a weeknight makes a woman feel cheap and men who call an hour after they’ve met us and scare us away. Men who psyche themselves out because they don’t think they’re cool or good looking enough and men who think they’re too cool and good looking and think we should do all the chasing. I’ve had them all, and admittedly since it takes two to tango I’ve been at fault in stepping on a foot here and there in the man-woman dance. As I would take notes and listen to Marni’s audio my eyes got a much clearer perspective on things.
I recently met a man on Match.com. Yes I went on Match. I wanted to meet different types of men and break some of my old patterns that clearly are not working for me. Perhaps spending time with Marni and talking to her on the phone a lot had something to do with that. Not much was catching my interest but one man did, Peter, I will call him here. Peter is my type, a tall, blue-eyed, boyishly handsome older guy with a conservative job and some conservative outlooks on life, but funny and eccentric like me, and yes definitely sexy. Peter and I were talking online for a spell and when I asked him what he was looking for on Match he went on a long diatribe about all the women he met, what they looked like, how old they were, what had happened. It didn’t offend me but it didn’t make me feel wanted either. Plus, he didn’t actually answer the question. It felt like half a brag and half a women are nuts kind of conversation. Then he asked me if I was free on New Year’s so he could check me out and “kick the tires.” I did have plans on New Year’s with friends, and I told him this. I also told him what I thought of his lengthy descriptions of his love life and wasn’t sure if he was truly interested in me and who I showed him I was at this point. Peter surprised me with a phone call that night and he said, “I’m sorry I talk too much sometimes without thinking. I am very interested in you. I think you’re pretty and smart and we like a lot of the same things. I would love to meet you and take you out I think we would have a good time.”
I phoned Marni about it and she said she was proud at how I handled Peter, and was even more delighted when I told her that we were going out for the first time that Saturday night to a cigar bar and then dinner. I realized in the past I would have either smart-mouthed the guy hard and alienated him without thinking, or I wouldn’t have bothered with him at all. But I didn’t do either and after another phone conversation where he told me he went to his Godfather’s memorial service the same day I went to my Uncle Freddy’s funeral and we had decent connection going, I realized what men really want is for women to nicely tell them what they want. Not just what we want, but what we don’t want. What we like and what we don’t like. If he doesn’t care, he’s probably an asshole and move on. But for the most part I’ve come away with that men are a lot more open to kind suggestion than we think, and just because they are perceived as the stronger sex it doesn’t mean that we can’t gently steer to show them what makes us tick.
And Peter and I are going on date number four this weekend. What will happen, it’s too soon to say and if nothing at all happens that’s cool too. But it just goes to show a Wing Girl can teach a Porn Girl some new tricks.
5 Things You See in Porn You Shouldn’t Do While Having Sex
By N’jaila Rhee of http://blasianbytch.com
Pornography is consumed by all types of people, and indulges our wildest fantasies but many forget that it’s just that – a fantasy. I know I’ve been with men that seem to not grasp that simple fact. Watching porn will not teach you how to be the world greatest lover no more than watching ER will make you a doctor. To spare the vaginas and moral of up and coming lovers I’ve made a list of the 5 Things You See in Porn That You Should Never Actually Do During Sex
5. Go Balls Deep in a Total Stranger RAW
Its almost a cliché, the hot chick needs a service rendered and somehow manages to sex the delivery boy, plumber, Rabbi or whoever it is she needs something from.
These two or more strangers get it on and there’s not a condom to be seen. No discussion of sexual history, birth control, or any of the things you should know about a person before you let them put their genitals on you.
In the real world porn stars need to take a test every month to make sure that STDs and AIDS don’t spread among actors. As for birth control I assume they take care of that on their own. Unfortunately most people are not porn actors and barely will get tested ever year let alone every month.
No matter what anyone tells you sex enough people raw and you ARE going to get something.
Even porn stars might have to keep it a little more real if the AIDS Healthcare Foundation gets someone to sponsor their bill, which would hold porn producers to the same standards as hospitals when it comes to preventing the spread of disease. So wrap it up kids.
4. Don’t Spit on my Vagina!
Don’t spit in it, pour liquor (not matter how expensive), or insert fruit into my vagina. While these acts have been showcased numerous times in “romantic “ or “porn for women” this is a horrible thing to do.
Alcohol, Sugar and most chemicals should never be put inside a woman. You see the vagina is moist, dark and hot, when you add something like sugar it’s the perfect breeding ground for bacteria and fungus.
What you usually see in a movie is a tease that might lead one to believe that chocolate, or fruit has actually been inside the actress, but that’s easy to achieve with editing. Not to mention that the actress can quickly wash and resume shooting. Most couples don’t yell, “cut” after foreplay.
Just to be clear, it’s totally cool to make candy in the shape a pussy just don’t put it inside one.
There is just no good reason to put peanut butter, wine or any other crap that belongs in a kitchen in chocha, NONE. If it is stank you shouldn’t be eating it and trying to “flavor it” is just going to make it worst.
And don’t spit on my vagina, there is nothing that kills the mood faster than some asshole hawking a logy up my birth canal. I implore any woman that digs this act to please leave a comment and explain, because I’m baffled.
You spit on the graves of your enemies, not on cherished birth canals. It’s like spitting directly into the winking eye of God. Not a good look.
3. Attempt to go through the entire karma sutra in one session.
Porn positions look amazing, because that is their main purpose to LOOK good. If they actually feel good really isn’t the director’s issue. All they want are positions that allow them to film penetration from multiple angles.
Positions aren’t picked because they feel just that damn good, in fact most “porn” positions for me at least kind of suck. They are awkward, intimacy-blocking ventures that rarely hit the right spots.
The Snuggie Sutra should also be handled one position at a time.
Another thing they do in porn that can just be bloody annoying is switch positions ever five seconds. How is one supposed to orgasm if as soon as you get into a position its time to change? Of course this is mostly the fault of editing. The positions are usually happening out of sequence and to completion.
While its fun to watch being an actual participant in a sexual contortion show might prove to be mighty disappointing. Especially since actors in porn are professionals, they spend their time making sure they can twist , pump, contort and what have you. YOU do not. So most of the positions you try to emulate will either make you very sore or cost you a trip to the doctor.
It’s unfortunate that so many “learn” sex through pornography, it’s not exactly going to teach you how to make your partner feel good.
2. Play shitty music
Porn Music and Bad Music are almost synonymous with each other. Some would ask why does porn even have music when 89% of the time it’s watched with the volume muted.
You might think a bad soundtrack isn’t going to make or break a sexual encounter. Well obviously you’ve never put your ITunes to random only to blasted with an embarrassing song mid coitus. Even more important than mood, music during sex might make or break a man’s stroke game.
According to science and numerous studies even as babies humans recognize and imitate aural rhythm patterns. This could be anything as simply as tapping your fingers on the arm of your chair to tapping dat ass. Sadly most of the awful public domain soft jazz used in porn lacks percussion.
While there ARE a lot of porn that use fake hip-hop in the background most of the words are even more distracting than a young money song. (Looking at You Nikki Minaj, pussy on his sideburns seriously, wtf?)
According to a 1998 study the best music to make love to be actually Latin and African inspired genres with upbeat tempo. They prompted men to thrust deeper and at the most steady and frequent pace.
1. Feedback less Fucking and Faking it
How many times have you heard the phrases “Does this feel good?” , “Show me how to…” or “How do you usually…” my guess is never. Even in porn made for women they mostly feature fantasy lovers that automatically know how to have amazing sex with each other.
Anyone that has ever hooked up can attest that the automatic dream lover that you will have a simultaneous orgasm with does not exist. What turned on a past lover might totally turn off another; no one should take his or her technique as gospel. Sex is something people do with each other. Intercourse should mutually beneficial exchange between two (or more) people. Those people should be communicating with each other. Sex will never be amazing if you go through life searching of the humping messiah that will get it perfect on the first try.
For guys that think they are failures because the chick you met 2 hours ago at the club didn’t have a screaming O. You should ask yourself if you don’t know chica’s name, how do you expect to know enough about her to get her off?
Every gender specific magazine will try to tell you they can make you a sexual dynamo with some tips and tricks, but they might work for some and not others. You’ll never know what does it for your lover if you aren’t speaking to them about it.
This one is especially for the ladies; you help NO ONE by faking it. If a guy is doing a crummy job and you convince him he just hit it out of the ballpark he’ll never change. You’ll never cum and everyone is crabby for no good reason.
How To Eat A Pussy… by porn star Heidi Mayne
I keep hearing from a lot guys….especially on set, “I love eating pussy, I can make a girl cum so quick, I’m such a good pussy eater”. Yeah right! I have had many a man eat my pussy and few are up to par. I don’t care what books you’ve read, or who you’ve asked or spoken to on the subject of cunnilingus, but most men are clueless. So, being the forward thinking champion for my gender, I’m gonna clue you men in, and you don’t even have to give me credit. Just tell the lucky chick that you’ve always know this secret because you are just that damn smart!
Don’t lap the entire pussy like a dog the whole time…its good for about 30 seconds to set the mood, but more than that and you’re gonna wind up frustrating the chick. Also, inner thigh biting is another good mood-setter…try combining that with the full pussy lapping for a minute. Thats good enough for the tease.
At the top of a pussy, there is thing called a clit, that is your main focus…directly over top of the clit, is the clitoral hood. Now that we’re done the anatomy lesson, we can get down to the meat and potatoes of the job, lol.
Put your mouth on the area around the clit and GENTLY suck the clit into your mouth. It isn’t gonna go far, its not that big (at least it shouldn’t be). Now, take your tongue and lift the clitoral hood and put the tip of your tongue UNDER the hood and move it slightly in whatever direction gets the best reaction from your chick…this means that you’re gonna have to pay attention to what SHE is doing! If you really want to set off the fireworks, put a couple fingers inside her while you’re eating her out. Now don’t need to move your hand in and out like a dick, just place 2 fingers inside (all the way inside), palm up, curl your fingers up and masage the inner G spot ( the inner G spot is in the top wall of the vagina, as soon as you curl your fingers up, you should be right there) how rapidly you move your fingers depends on the girl.
by Dia Zerva
Love is gonna save us…beats to the beats, training to the sweat to the straight out sport fucking.
How ever did sex, running, wrestling, and weight training turn into something exotic and a life long commitment? I’m not your typical porn girl. I am 33 September 7th and ventured into porn after I ran the Rock n Roll Half Marathon in San Jose November 2007 by being booked to wrestle for www.academywrestling.com. I faced Madison Young and Kitty
Langdon and my door opened into porn, BDSM porn and wrestling.
Training for what I do? I love my stripper pole, I love doing quick 3 mile runs in my booty shorts in the gym with my ass hanging out. I love what the rush of 9.0 mile per hour sprints do to me and my mental being. Sprinting, wrestling, fucking, it’s all entwined. It’s who I am. When I’m on set, my makeup washes off from the pure physicality and as I heard the term “sport fucking” in the movie “Fightclub” I must say, that’s my preferred choice in fucking. My recent match with Wenona on www.ultimatesurrender.com reflects that and if you ever catch my main boy girl work, it is with Mike John of Jules Jordan. Two
different scenarios but the sweat, the runners high and the little beast in me is real.
I mix my workouts at home with running, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and circuit training. My season of wrestling competitions ends around September 11 with www.nagafighter.com in Las Vegas then it’s on the road for Las Vegas half marathon in December. Between traveling for work, if I apply my ChiRunning and running schedule, I might be able to swing my first marathon. It’s too early in the game but it’s never too early to get sweaty with my man, the awesome people in the business and for my family of sites.
xoxo and happy training!
by Kylea Killeen of www.kyleakilleen.com
While a large portion of women dream of having a more buxom bosom, many are concerned with complications, scarring, & the replacement surgeries associated with saline & silicone implants. Finally the options are beginning to expand thanks to science & technology. Wish you could take that fat from your hips & put it in your breasts? Now you can! Want a temporary increase in your bust line? Its already available in other countries! Or would you rather just grow more fat in your breasts? That’s coming too! Below I’ve outlined some of the current & future options for those wanting to enlarge their bust without going the route of traditional implants.
Expect an increase of: 1 cup size
Expect to pay about: $10k
Fat transfer was what many women wanted for years, even before it existed, but it does bring a range of problems of its own. For many years the FDA did not approve of fat transfer breast augmentation because of problems with fat cells dying after transfer & causing calcification. The calcification interfered with mammograms, making it hard to discern if a woman had developed breast cancer which can also lead to calcification. The technology has come a long way though & now most of the mammogram machines work much better, so the doctors can get correct readings without as much worry over the results of implants or fat transfer. Fat transfer can generally take you up about 1 cup size per procedure. If you opt for fat transfer you aren’t just paying for one surgery though, you are paying for two. Both surgeries are pretty non-invasive & can be done quickly. First the doctor will do use a form of lipo-suction to collect the fat, then a second surgery is performed the same day to re-inject the fat into the breast tissue. After the surgery patients may be required to wear a breast pressure splint for a bit to keep the fat in place. The one major set back to fat transfer is that a good percentage of the fat often dies, leaving the patients with results that are less than desirable. On the plus side, Europeans have been using this method for many years for patients recovering from breast cancer.
Pros: Non-invasive, one time surgery, general anesthesia not required, available in the U.S.
Cons: Cost, minor increase in size, possible calcification, possible fat loss, pressure splint
Fat Transfer with Stem Cells
Expect an increase of: 1 – 2 cup sizes
Expect to pay about: $18K
Fat transfer with stem cells is the newest rage for natural breast augmentation in the United States. While it is similar to regular fat transfer it does have numerous bonuses that tend to make it better. Rather than a two part surgery the procedure occurs in three parts. First the doctor uses lipo-suction (often Body-Jet water assisted lipo) to remove the fat, the fat is then cleaned to optimize the use of the stem cells, which are then re-injected into the breasts. After surgery patients may be required to wear a breast pressure splint for a bit to keep the fat in place. The major advantage to this procedure over the regular fat transfer is that stem cells have a better survival rate (85-90%), & a much lower chance of calcification (less than 10% of patients).
Pros: Non-invasive, one time surgery, general anesthesia not required, available in the U.S.
Cons: Cost, minor increase in size, possible calcification, minor fat loss, pressure splint
Expect an increase of: 1 – 2 cup sizes
Expect to pay about: $5K plus travel expenses
If you are looking for a temporary breast enlargement Swedish science has the answer for you… Marcolane by the makers of Restalyn. Basically it is a dermal filler of gel-like substance created from large amounts of stabilized hyaluronic acid. Patients can remain awake while Macrolane is being injected into the breasts & actively decide how big they want to go. The results of the injections last about 1 – 2 years after which it is metabolized by the body. This is perfect option if you aren’t sure how large of permanent implants you want, or if you want to increase your wages by increasing your bust at a temporary job such as working as an exotic dancer, adult actress, model or bartender. Macrolane does come with the risks of palpable lumps & capsular contractions, some of which can be massaged out..
Pros: Non invasive, general anesthesia not required
Cons: Minor increase in size, temporary, not yet available in the U.S.
Laboratory Grown “Implants” With Stem Cells
(Not yet available to the public)
Expect an increase of: unknown
Expect to pay about: unknown
The newest advancement being tested is the idea of growing an “implant” with the assistance of stem cells from the patient. Doctors are turning stem cells into adipose (fat producing) cells, which can be put into molds of different shapes & sizes. The implant grows over the period of about eight months, & can then be inserted under the skin. Trials are just now starting to begin in Australia & will first be offered to recovering breast cancer patients who have be cancer-free for two years or more.
Pros: A more natural implant
Cons: Risk of scaring similar to current saline/silicone implants
Neopec Stem Cell Assisted Breast Growth
Expect an increase of: unknown
Expect to pay: unknown
This procedures is probably one of the biggest breakthroughs in the history of cosmetic surgery for implants. Doctors create a pocket in the patient & insert a biodegradable scaffold or mold in the shape of the breast, which is where the new breast tissue will form. Blood vessels which are located near the implant are re-directed to the mold to increase circulation to the area & stimulate growth of new fat cells. Stem cells are injected into the ends of the blood vessels near the mold. Myogel is then injected into the mold to help stimulate the the process for the body to create new fat tissue in the area of the mold. Over the next 4-6 months the new breast tissue forms, after which the mold either dissolves on its own or is removed by the doctor. Researchers in Australia are expecting the procedure to be available to cancer patients within three years, and a few years after that expect to see it on the cosmetic surgery market.
Pros: Natural growth shaped to your breast
Cons: Not yet available
The last thing to realize with any of these technique is that while your bust-line is increasing, the shape won’t really change. If you love the look of the high profile implants sported by many glamour models & actress then traditional implants will provide you the results you want. Most of the options listed above are best suited for women who are already happy with their current shape, but want more of it, or women who have lost fullness from age or breast-feeding. However, some of these options can be used in addition to a traditional breast lift to give the appearance of younger & fuller breasts. If you love the look & feel of natural breasts look into your options carefully. When contacting doctors offering these services you’ll need to have a lot of patience since there are very few of them, & they are swamped with customers who are booking appointments up to six months in advance. Or, if you don’t see something that is right for you now, consider waiting until the technology you want is available. Science is rapidly changing the cosmetic surgery industry & you never know what will be available tomorrow!
Story & photos by Lainie Speiser
Last week the good people at Penthouse decided to treat us to an impromptu pizza party to kick off our holiday weekend, and I don’t care what anyone says, you’re never too old and jaded to get excited by six kinds of extra large pizza pies, an array of gourmet cookies and fresh cut up fruit arranged on a long conference room table. And a feeding frenzy commenced.
Dear Ms Spelvin,
Given your age and when you started in the adult industry, I assume that you grew up in a time where interracial sex or relationships were big taboos punishable by law. So I would assume that when you were working, you weren’t open to doing interracial scenes with blacks. I believe you never worked during your entire career with a black man. My question is: is it something you would have been open to or was it a little too much? We are in 2010 and black and white sex in the adult industry is still a big taboo. Many girls refuse to do it.
Thank you for your time.
Read the rest of this entry »
When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be a Feature
I travel to a different place pretty much every week and in this weekly pilgrimage, I always meet at least one dancer who will come up to me and energetically state, “I wanna be a feature. How do I do it?” That is difficult to answer. I want to help so I try to keep my answer under an hour. While giving her a quality answer, I want to be honest without discouraging her. I find many dancers have the misconception that you become a feature and you make all of this money right off the bat. Not everyone realizes that just like in any other profession there is a great deal of hard work and time that has to be put into it before success comes. So along the journey amongst those that fall, you must be the one that progresses and succeeds in the crazy and extreme world of entertainment.
I start off by referring them to respectable, positive pageants and contest. She may go into the contest with wide eyes, but she will learn a great deal in a short period of time, plus she will meet other features of different experience levels. She will also learn what NOT to do. Shooting flames so high and expansive that they set off the fire alarms in the building next door to the club or setting off a flash pot that has a stray spark which lands on a customer, these are things we want to avoid. Getting on stage and having a blast while encouraging the crowd to have fun with you, that’s what we want to accomplish. Contests are a way to get your face out there for a lot of people within the industry to see plus it allows you to see the diversity that exist with your own eyes. There is a rule of thumb for new girls, when you enter a pageant it is good to perform a show that you know very well. This is not the time to debut that new show that you are sure will be a hit, because you just don’t know when it comes to a live audience. Although this is an unwritten rule, everyone ignores it and does it anyway and everyone fails, myself included.
Another thought to keep in mind, is travel. If you become a feature, you must travel to the jobs. The mode of transportation most commonly used is flight, however I personally enjoy using the restroom whenever I want or being able to use a pillow and keep a blanket on my lap so I drive. Plus, I don’t like being stranded in an airport. Traveling teaches you more than a book or school, so if you are young, footloose and fancy free, why not see the world and make a living at the same time? But before all of this takes place, you have to get bookings.
Finally, as you follow the yellow brick road to success as a feature, you will need a good agent, or two…or four. There are several agencies that book features and, if you enter the contests and pageants you will meet and see many of them. The job of an agent is to set up the job/booking and take care of the performer’s needs via a contract, such as travel cost, making sure the entertainer’s lodging is safe and secure and setting up the booking, and for this the agent receives a percentage. A good, hard-working agent is a perfect combination to a determined, focused feature.
I am happy that these dancers come up to me and talk to me, however I have not seen one follow my advice. Well at this point, I refer them over to Tony Batman who has worked with every feature dancer and porn agent out there, he hands them a card with his e-mail on it and says, “E-mail me.” So far, there have been zero e-mails. I know what happened. Her Thursday night regular customer, Sam has come in sporting his brand new digital camera that he is going to use to test shoot her with for Playboy. Yea… good luck with that, ladies.
"I LOVE giving oral. It's one of my favorite"
Hi there sexy soccer mom gone bad. How can I get a date with someone like you? It's always been my dream to be with a pornstar!
Tabitha Stevens on Being Healthy
I’m five foot three inches tall, approximately 100 pounds, and at the age of ‘almost’ 40, physically very lucky. I keep my body in great shape by eating right, exercising and having daily doses of sex . I am very petite as well. I have a size 5.5 shoe and my ring finger is a size 3. What I’m getting at here is the fact that I am a very small-boned woman (one who did not have any children) who will most likely always be tiny. Lately I’ve been on some boards where people are talking about how many of the women, who are now considered MILF’s, gained weight over the years and don’t look like they they did 10 years ago.