Archive for the ‘Reviews’ Category

Tanya Tate’s The MILF Masseuse

Review by Greg Chapman

Directed by Tanya Tate

Available from Filly Films

British porn queen Tanya Tate gets behind the lens for her first directorial debut and does a fantastic job. The fantasy of older women giving massages to younger females is certainly one that I can totally get into!  Getting massages is great, so are giving them depending who it is in my humble opinion. Anyway, as a guy, watching hot women indulge themselves in each other is the next best thing as to actually participating in the pleasures of flesh upon oiled up flesh.  The aforementioned Tanya Tate stars in all 4 steamy scenes getting it on with the likes of Jelena Jensen, India Summer, Stevie Reyes, Stormie White and Dani Daniels.  The action starts off with a hot g/g/g scene featuring Tanya and Stevie Reyes slurping and rubbing the nubile India Summer. Plenty of kissing and licking gets the juices flowing in a Sappho overload.

Then Tanya takes on cute Jelena Jensen, carefully massaging her lovely body, which leads to a girl-girl coupling beyond compare.  Next to undergo the Tanya treatment are Stormie White and Dani Daniels in scenes featuring great direction and camera work that delivers the sensuality only women can offer each other.  Not to leave things up to the imagination, but words can never replace checking it out for yourself.  I recommend anyone who likes excellent lesbian action to see for themselves what Tanya delivers because to quote the press release  “Massage therapy with Tanya Tate will rub you the right way!” One can only look forward to more from her in the near future!

http://www.fillyfilms.com/video/tanya-tate-milf-masseuse/

Reviewer-Pornoissuer & twitter.com/pornoissuer
Movie Release-7/12/2010
Movie Company-Smash Pictures & www.smashpictures.com
Movie Title-Secretary’s Day 4
Director-Jim Powers

Starring-Asa Akira, Andy San Dimas, Allie Haze, Katie Kox, Mckenzie Miles, Darcy Tyler, Evan Stone, Christian XXX, Otto Bauer, Kris Slater, Jack Vegas
Type-All Sex
Description-Everybody has had the fantasy of having sex with a secretary they work with or having sex in the office.  For most of us this ends at fantasy because in reality it would lead to a nasty lawsuit or termination,  This series helps us keep that fantasy in check but if I worked with a secretary as hot as some of these woman Human Resources would not know what to do with me.  Secretary’s Day 4 covers 5 different scenarios of what could possibly happen between bosses and their ASSistants.  You have the girlfriend trying to get her boyfriends band signed.  There’s the assistant that owes her boss money and he can only think of one way for her to repay.  Also what happens when phone sex gets you caught by the boss on company time.  A new hire who takes using company equipment to a new level.  Finally the broken hearted secretary whose coworker has done her wrong and her boss can only think of one way to help her.

Best Things-
1) The Outfits- Each lady is glamed up pretty good in this one.  We’re talking short to long skirts with stocking attached to garter belts and heels that don’t stop plus what’s a sexy secretary without the glasses.  Since no one is ever completely nude the clothes add a certain aesthetic that is pleasing to the eyes.
2) Great Extras-More on this in the bonus material section

Worst Things-
1)Bad Cuts- Not sure what they were going for in the editing room here but there were times when it looks like one thing was going to happen then they are in a totally different position.  A good transition can make or break a movie for me if its to jarring it takes me out of the experience.
2)  This one isn’t big but in one scene in particular there are a few plaques that have been blurred out and you cant help but notice them in the background.  I understand they were going for a certain type of office feel but if they were going to have to blur them out they should have just been removed.

Favorite Scene-
When I first started watching the opening for this one I knew what scene I wasn’t looking forward to the FFM scene these to me are usually a train wreck and go on way to long and its not something I like to watch.  Boy could I have not been more wrong the cast in this one were perfect.  First you have Andy San Dimas this woman has a way with words she can make anything and I mean anything sound sexy.  I lie to you not she said “go ahead eat the poop shoot” and I thought I was going to shoot.  Then you have Allie Haze playing her boss its always nice to see the woman leering after the secretary and Allie coerces Andy perfectly.   I had to have rewound their kiss about three times.  Then there is Evan Stone there is a reason this man keeps getting the acting award nod he is hilarious from his interaction with the main boss to how he gets down with Allie and Andy.  The lead up to the scene in this one was longer than the other four but it worked.  These three had great chemistry and get into every position or scenario you can think off.  I would have liked to have seen a little more between just Andy and Allie together but beggars cant be choosers and there is a reason why this was the last scene.

Bonus Features
I have to hand it to Smash pictures they know what it means to give BONUS material.  Not only does Jim Powers give a great behind the scenes where I learned a few things.  Did you know Allie Haze wanted to be a firefighter or that Andy San Dimas got her name from Bill and Ted I sure didn’t.  Plus they also give you the position selection feature and a new one I like called the tease.  Remember when I said I watched that kiss between San Dimas and Haze yeah this feature made that a lot easier,  These guys made me miss the days of the multiple angle shot.

Overall-7.5-I liked this one each story kept me interested and all the major porn bases were covered.  There was even some anal and a cream pie which I wasn’t expecting to see,  This is one for anybody that likes a to see a girl all dressed and might have a few roleplaying scenarios they want to see played out.  With the bonus features the viewing experience is different each time.  This is a Buy.

Reviewer-Pornoissuer & twitter.com/Pornoissuer
Movie Release-1983 re-release 2011
Movie Company-Essex Video
Movie Title-Naughty Girls Need Love Too
Director-Edwin Brown

Starring-Hyapatia Lee, Honey Wilder, Rachel Ashley, Ron Jeremy, Richard Pacheco, Mona Page, John Leslie, Jamie Gillis, Randy West, Lynn Francis, Penelope Jones, Zoe Marlow, Tina Marie
Type-Feature
Description-Naughty Girls follows the lives of a budding singles community in Marina Del Ray, California.  The film is narrated by Honey Wilder who also acts as the social director in the movie.  All the characters seem to interact with each other at some point or another if you catch my drift

Review-Now Let me start by saying I love “old school” porn. I have a affinity for the fact the stories were pretty good and the acting could stand up to any B movie out today.  This is what I liked about this you take out the sex and the movie could be something you catch on late night USA.  The cast is great ,especially Honey Wilder, she was a perfect pick for the narrator and her character pretty much got involved in all the major storylines.

The music is also a plus, never have I heard a theme song as catchy a “Naughty Girls” and I’m not talking about that old Beyonce song.  I hope I can find out who did this song.  Now because this is a classic adult feature it has classic adult music in scenes but every so often a you hear a few gems.  Some of the sex scenes can be really short mainly because the movie is interacting between all the other scenes luckily there is a nice payoff with the last two scenes that act as one big one.  This movie covers all the classic bases; teacher and students check, naughty librarian check, plumber check.  It’s like the took all the old porn clichés and put them into one movie, cheesy, but it works.  Downside is with it only being 1:39 it has to end right when it gets going.  I would love to see if there was a follow up to this of sorts.
Overall-For anyone that is a classic porn love this one is a great underrated movie that hits all the major seventies porn points.  Now there isn’t any behind the scenes or interviews, but if you just wan t a fun movie this is it.  This is a definite rent i give it a 7 out of 10

Reviewer- Pornoissuer & twitter.com/pornoissuer
Movie Release-5/4/2010
Movie Company & website-Digital Playground & digital playground.com
Movie Title-The Smiths
Director-Robby D

Starring-Kayden Kross, Jennifer White, Riley Steele, Kourtney Kane, Mick Blue, Manuel Ferrera, Tommy Gunn, Scott Nails
Type of Movie-Feature
Description-Manuel and his wife Kayden have been having problems in the bedroom,  They haven’t slept together in weeks and Manuel is starting to get a little bent up to say the least.  His friends tell him that he should cheat but Manuel wont.  It doesn’t Make thing easier that his sister in law is one Riley Steele and she comes over all the time.  What Manuel doesn’t know is that Kayden is a porn star and from what we later find out it’s a family business.  Kayden has been trying to keep this from Manuel by maintaining a separate persona, but what will happen once Manuel finds out?
Favorite Scene-The scene between Manuel and Kayden Cross can be summed up in one word passion,  These two tear into each other like they haven’t ever had sex.  Manuel pretty much devours Kayden and she acts like she is loving every minute.  They get rough with each other with a little choking here and a little slapping there.  Moments like this just up the intensity of the scene.  These two just can’t get enough of each other and there chemistry is outstanding this was the perfect couple for this movie.

Weakest Things-
1-Plot Hole-The husband works for a cyber nanay company and has never stumbled across his wives pictures.  This either says thathe is not that good at his job or his wife isn’t that good of a porn star.

Bonus Feature-There is a Behind the Scenes feature that runs about ten minutes.  While its not long it does show the cast having fun and everyone is pretty open with the camera.  I also didn’t know that this was Kayden Kross first movie with digital playground.

Overall- I would like to have seen the story go a little further while the scenes were great it didn’t really play up the whole double life for Kayden or the temptation that her husband is going through.  This is a good feature for a couple to watch because its not to hardcore but the scenes between the Smiths come off very passionate and exciting,
Score-6-This is a nice rent to try and win the significant other over to the porno side.  The BTS keeps it from being a average flick, but with no real craziness in the scenes it can get pretty tame at times.

Anything directed by Kevin Smith I will watch. He’s not always right on target, but he is always controversial. In Red State a couple horny teenagers answer a woman looking for sex, only to find out its a trap. I’m not going to give away the rest because it would spoil the movie if you plan on watching it. I will say that if you love or hate Religious Zealots, it’s a must see. Although the movie starts off strong and has a great idea brewing, it’s doesn’t hold us until the end. There are laborious, ponderous scenes of a ranting/preaching pastor that you really want to fast forward through.

When you get near the end there is an amazing happening that instead of the supernatural ending you hope for turns out to be a no where near believable fabricated prank.

Coulda been a lot better. 

6 outta 10

The Flying Pink Pig 2

Review by Greg Chapman
Directed by Erica Mclean
Cal Vista & Cheeky Monkey Productions

Cast List
Alexis Texas, Sunny Lane, Nicki Hunter, Cytherea, Mika Kim
Breanna Sparks, Tessa Taylor, Lee Bang, Dale Dabone, TJ Cummings
Tyler Knight, Jerry

In this era of endless inane xxx television show parodies,and movie spoofs, this is a nice change of pace. It’s the second installment of the first “food truck” parody. Now that’s something I can get into, food and porn, who couldn’t?
If you live in the L.A. area or have visited you may have experienced the food truck phenomena, and if not, you’re missing out on some great mobile grub. The food truck concept is pretty self-explanatory, but there are dozens of trucks roaming around the city of angels and now all over the country thanks to reality t.v. There are a myriad of varieties offering delicacies and specialties unique to each. The truck in this flick serves up hot sex with horny gals featuring a solid cast of  big name performers like Alexis Texas, Sunny Lane, and Nikki Hunter providing the well filmed filthy frolicking from Erica Mclean.  Most notably, Cytherea makes another great appearance in her return to porn plus a stand out performance from a now brown-haired Tessa Taylor steals the show.  I’m not going to get into the minutiae of the plot and sex, because it’s up to you to discover that on your own, so indulge your senses in this one of a kind parody.

The Devil in Miss Jones: The Resurrection

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Reviewer- Pornoissuer & twitter.com/pornoissuer
Movie Release-4/9/2010

Movie Company & website-Vivid &Vivid.com
Movie Title-The Devil in Miss Jones: The Resurrection
Director-Paul Thomas
Cast-Belladonna, Savanna Samson, Penny Flame, Rebecca Linares, Victoria Sin, Carmella Bing, Evan Stone, Steven St.Croix, Tom Byron, Nick Manning, Kurt Lockwood, And James Bartholet

Type of Movie-Feature/Remake
Description-This feature follows Melinda Jones(Belladonna) a up and coming journalist who just wants to make a name for herself.  She is brought to the attention of Pandora(Savanna Samson) who would like her to write for her paper.  Melinda starts to realize that all isn’t what its seems at the Pandora compound and the further she goes for Pandora the more of herself she looses to the sin and seduction around her.  The story is one of power, greed, lust, and corruption and shows just how far some are willing to go to make it.

Favorite Scene-Now this time I might be cheating but my favorite scene was the one between Belladonna and Penny Flame AND Tom Byron, Penny Flame, and Victoria Sin.  Okay let me explain the way this scene was shot is probably what made me like it so much.  It worked as a flashback of sorts and while Penny Flame is describing what Tom Byron did to her on Belladonna the scene would jump back to what was really going on the first time they got together.  The scene was also great because of the amount of dirty talk and how Penny is pretty much converting Belladonna over to the side of the whores.  Once the scene with Penny, Tom and Victoria ends you still get to watch the rest of scene play out between Penny and Belladonna.  It was like getting two for one and both were great. 

Best Things
1-The Sex- In a movie about the devil you can expect that things were going to get raunchy, nothing was really sacred in this one and I loved every minute of it.  There was ass play, rimming on both men and woman, bondage and spit as far as the eye could see.  Each scene was long and different and never got to repetitive or boring.
2-The Cast-Usually when I talk about the cast I am referring to the women, but in this one every one played their part great.  From the sly reverend played by Evan Stone to the imposing man servant played by Nick Manning who by the way still managed to get his trademark dropping loads into the movie.  The best had to be Tom Byron as the preacher and Penny Flame as the Violet.  These two spewed off thing that would make the average porn watcher flinch but they get into it so much that you say aw hell go with it.  Never thought the casting out of the demons could be so sexy.

Weakest Things-
1-Length Between Scenes- While I loved the fact this flick ran for almost 3 hours and the story was very good lets not forget that this is still an adult film and the length of time between the first and second scene was almost an hour.  The story luckily was intriguing but that just seems like to much time to me.
2-The Ending-While there is a lot of time given for setup the end for this one kinda seemed rushed and because of that a lot of what is going on in the end gets lost in translation.  Not so much that you cant enjoy the end but enough that you might find yourself saying WTH just happened.

Bonus Feature-There was a Behind the Scenes feature which ran for about thirty minutes which unlike a lot of other ones that have reviewws this one focused a little more on the technical side of things.  You actually see the type of cameras being used hooked up and Belladonna getting her micing done.  I always like to learn more and more about the industry so this one was a nice treat.  There was also a bonus scene from The New Devil In Miss Jones featuring Jenna Jameson and Savanna Stern.  It was a cool way to pay homage to the other remake and it was a pretty hot scene.

Overall- For someone that has seen both the original DMJ and the 2005 remake I was pleasantly surprised at how good this one was.  The story was really good, the cast phenomenal, and the sex was what you would want in a feature like this raunchy and uninhibited.  

Score-8-This one is a buy!

Twitter Addy-twitter.com/pornoissuer
Reviewer- Pornoissuer & twitter.com/pornoissuer
Movie Release-7/25/2011
Movie Company & website-Hustler & Hustler.com
Movie Title-This Aint Lady GAGA XXX: This Is A Parody
Director-Axel Braun
Cast-Helly Mae Hellfire, Raylene, Aubrey Addams, Rhianna Rimes, Scott Lyons, Ron Jeremy, Marco Banderas, Marco Rivera
Type of Movie-Parody

Description-Lady Gaga (Helly Mae Hellfire) is the biggest pop star in the world and wants everyone to know it.  She has a appetite that is only satisfied by sex and attention.  Anything sets this girl off men’s rooms, anger and horny old men.  She coerces Beyonce (Rhianna Rimes) into cheating on Jay-Z on the set of a music video.  She goes through Larry King on the set of his show, and then has a little fun with a porn legend in the bathroom.  Finally it’s the battle of the egos as Gaga goes up against Madonna(Aubrey Addams) for pop supremacy.

Favorite Scene-My favorite scene had to be Ron Jeremy and Helly Mae in the bathroom.  While there was no sex per se in this scene these two really seemed to have the best chemistry, and Helly gives one hell of a blowjob (pun intended).  It starts with Gaga using a vibrator on herself before Ron comes in with and exasperated “again, Gaga this is the men’s room”.  Ron Jeremy was very funny and even with all the years he has had in the game he still showed why he’s still got it.

Best Things
1-The Music- What I mean by that is the two fake songs that they created based on Gaga’s hits Telephone and Born this way respectively.  The Telephone parody says what a lot of guys have been thinking for years and the Born this way parody should be the porn industries anthem.
2-Helly Mae Hellfire- First her name is awesome and thanks to the great behind the scenes video I get where it comes from.  Secondly her portrayal is the only time I have ever found Lady Gaga attractive.  She gets the facial twitches’ down and voice down but her body is great with a pair of breast that probably make the real Gaga jealous.

Weakest Things-
1-Porn Music-In the first three minutes of each scene there is music that drowns out everything, but the scene still goes on like we can hear everything.  Its wasn’t horrible just annoying
2-Raylene-Why put a beauty such as raylene in the movie if she is never going to have sex.  The Sarah Pallin side story does nothing for this.  Add the fact that Gaga and Palin never get it on its just a big tease.
3-Final Scene-This one was really all over the place I’m not even sure where to start here, but the main thing is that one of the guys must have cum early because most of the scene he’s trying to get it up and you can almost see the look of frustration on Helly and Aubreys face.  This scene was supposed to be the big finish Madonna versus

Gaga but it never really picks up steam and as raunchy as it could have got it never does.  They should have just gone for the Kanye threeway and had a battle of egos.
Bonus Feature-This one has the regular dvd fare trailers photos and whatnot, but it also had a nice fifteen minute Behind the Scene video.  The BTS has interviews with Helly Mae and Aubrey and also gives some great bloopers featuring Rhianna.

Overall-I was a little let down with this one.  For a character like Lady Gaga I expected some off the wall sexual escapades, but instead I got some pretty tame scenes.  The fake videos were pretty cool but it just feel short of being something really great.
Score-5-This one is a rent.

Director: Greg Berlanti
Writers: Ian Deitchman, Kristin Rusk Robinson
Stars: Katherine Heigl, Josh Duhamel and Josh Lucas

I laughed out loud. I cried. It was an original, yet slightly predictible  storyline.  But overall a fantastic girly movie, with great characters &

a happy unexpected ending… So worth watching!  9 out of 10

Reviewer- Pornoissuer & twitter.com/pornoissuer
Movie Release-2010
Movie Company & website-Adam & Eve- Adamandeve.com
Movie Title-Girl 2 Girl Again
Director-Various
Cast-Bree Olson, Ava Rose, Abbey Brooks, Adrianna Analese, Adrianna Nicole, Alexis Breeze, Angelina Valentine, Ashlyn Page, Celeste Star, Daisy Marie, Faye Regan, Georgia Jones, Inari Vachs, Jamie LaMore, Justine Joli, Karlie Montana, Krystal Summers, Lexi Belle, Marie Luv, Mikayla Mendez, Nikki Loren, Nyomi Marcela, Sandra Romain, Sasha Grey, Sochee Mala, Sophia Lynn, Stephania Swift, Tory Lane
Type of Movie-Girl/Girl and Compilation
Description-.Adam & Eve take some of the biggest names in the industry to day and put them together in a massive four hour compilation about the joys of girl on girl sex.  There are thirteen scenes going through the various fetishes that one might find in some of Adam & Eves featurs.  You have a little bondage, role playing, and even a little stocking play.  This one shows that good chemistry can happen anywhere  and at anytime and that you don’t always need a guy to make a good sex scene.
Favorite Scene-  My favortie scene had to be the one from Bitch and Moan vol 1 featuring Sandra Romain and Adrianna Nicole.  From the very beginning I knew I was going to like this one when I saw Adrianna Nicole hanging from a pipe.  I also love Sandra Romains accent she just says thing in a way that let you know she is really going to make Adrianna like this (I heard she retired I gotta look into that).  This scene gets right to it no prissy foreplay just old fashioned girl on girl action.  They use so many toys (which usually is a turnoff for me) that you would think these two owned a sex shop.  At one point Sandra breaks out two dildos to give herself a little double penetration action.  Adrianna plays the submissive role to perfection letting Romain have her way with her but also getting the chance to use a few toys on her as well.  This scene has some light bondage and a little fisting if you want to turn someone onto the beauty of Girl on Girl this is the scene you use.  These two also get damn near thirty minutes to do their thing.
Best Things
1-Length-The last time I reviewed a Compilation the scenes were all kept to a running time of fifteen minutes that’s fine and good until you start ending scenes early, or starting right in the middle.  Not the case here this one was four hours done right.  Each scene got more than enough time to show off the best parts of there respective movies and by doing so sold me on some of the features.  There are a few now that I would like to check out one I have even reviewed in the past.  While they all don’t give away a lot about the feature you aren’t left feeling to disjointed at the end of each scene.
2-Sound- Other companies need to take note on how to use Dolby stereo from A&E I can hear everything in each scene and its makes it a much more pleasurable experience.  Its not to the point where you can hear background noises and people moving in another room but you don’t have to strain to hear the little things.
Weakest Things-
1-Toys-I understand the use of toys in a Girl/Girl feature but with the amount of time given and the fact there are thirteen scenes to have only one scene that didn’t use toys is just a bit excessive.  To me the idea of the compilation is to sell your movies but also bring fans into that genre to not have any scenes without toys was just bad marketing from my point of view.
2-Lead In Music-The down side to the great sound quality of this movie was how each scene had five minutes of lead in music that was so loud you can hear some of the build up in each scene or some of the dirty talk.
3-Interracial Scenes-This is something I found wrong in the last comp I reviewed still this was a little better but with thirteen scenes there should have been a few more girls from other races.  If adam & eve cant produce more than this then somebody needs to take a closer look at the product.
Bonus Feature-There is a nice scene in here from Under the Influence featuring Nikita Denise, and Sindee Cox.
Overall-For a compilation this is pretty good they put together a nice group of scenes with great girls and each is given more than enough time to sell their feature.  I would have liked to see a few more scenes with Black Asian or Hispanic girls and there were way to many toys used.  I still enjoyed it for the most part.  This is a good one to sell the non G/G fans on a G/G movie.
Score-7-Rent but use the scene feel out other features that might be more up your alley I will be pick up Bitch and Moan it looked really good.